WRITING FOR CHANGE

I have been a tad negligent with this blog as I have been spending upwards of four hours a day writing two scripts which I will direct in January. The topic is cyberbullying and the students I'm working with are from a local high school.  The plays will be touring elementary and highschools - to evoke awareness, responsibility, and change regarding young people's practices online. Okay, I've been partying a lot too.  You got me.

As is my nature, spreading the good cheer has been one of my top priorities this holiday season.  Wine and cheese and cheese and wine and gourmet meals and long dog walks and visits with lovely friends...oh holidays, I love you so!  On a day like today, when it is mild outside, the mountains are showing off their snowy peaks, and I have time to write and reflect, I am truly happy.  Nothing to gripe about today. Not even the asshole who cut me off and then had the audacity to give me the finger!  Okay, I totally made that up for laughs. See? Spreading the cheer on thick my friends.

But, and I am ashamed to admit it, you know what doesn't make me smile?  Hearing about people heading down south for sun, sea, and slurpies.  No sir.  I wish I was that giving but while trudging around in my less than feminine waterproof hiking boots in the rainy darkness I picture those "friends" basking in the sunshine laughing laughing laughing as they reflect on how darn cold they were last week back home.  No.  Such tales of warmth and camaraderie do not make me smile.  But I do fake it.  Who doesn't these days?

All the same, sitting here, all cozy, with dog lying nearby, I write and write and write with the knowledge that what I am putting out there can and will hopefully change a few lives, empower some young people, and create awareness amongst the adults about what the youngster's are up to right under our noses.  The work is important and I love the creative process. That's why I keep writing this silly thing, as well.  Who knows?  Miracles can happen, right? Like when Oprah, and her new network "OWN The World" sees it and decides to give me one of her favorite things: a shitload of money!  Yup, that's my goal here people.  Not altruistic at all.  The only self I'm helping is me - and I'm thinking money. 

Speaking of money - or money shot, I have a funny tale of truth and espionage. Okay, totally no espionage but I liked the sound of it.  So, we (as in my wonderful friend and I) made a dinner party for a friend who is celebrating a year separated from his wife who was a skanky ho who slept with his best friend, or something. Maggie manifested a meal of epicurian standards.  After twelve bottles of wine  (do everything in dozens I say) one of our guests (a veritable stranger) came out of the bathroom naked as a jaybird exclaiming, "now this is unexpected!"  What a crowd pleaser!  The laughter, the yelling, the "hm, is that all there is?" that transpired after his enveiling really made the dinner party.  Oh people, wish you could have been there.

So, with that I return to my scriptwriting, and ponder upcoming New Year's Eve when I go to a party at the home of one of the dinner party guests (a new friend) and attempt to consume a neat dozen bottles of the champs myself - okay, maybe the small, cute bottles.  Anyways, happy holidays to all and take the time to say "yes" to something you never have time for.  Smile at people and dare to let a little funny quip pop out so that you will enjoy the smirks and laughter that follows.  And, at the very least, give a great big thanks that you are alive, and well, and full of love for yourself and those around you (and if you don't feel the love for them, then fake it my friends, fake it good!).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THE JOLLY SEASON

 

I cannot contain myself - my heart is expanding, I feel good will towards all - even the non-smilers.  You see, after having been through the trenches, the heartache, the rudderless future, the lack of spirituality - I am on the other side.  How magnificent it is.  

Looking and finding, yes finding, the good, the learning, the reasoning behind my life and its varied directions and current path leaves me smiling. Once you scratch the bottom overcome by darkness, only to really see and feel certain about the Light (and I don't mean the one at the end of the proverbial tunnel) you wind up really, really grateful.  At least I do.  

I didn't know what would happen, what would become of me, at 45, upon arriving back to Vancouver with little cash and no home.  A summer job was waiting but after that, I did not know what I would do nor how I would get myself out of my money hole. Well, now, after six months, things are bearing fruit. I get to still be a drama teacher, part time, write two scripts against cyberbullying which will tour elementary and high schools, and remain in the business world through sales, as well as plan a really cool event for the district's drama students for February.  Wow - creativity and business - plus, sometimes, I can do a yoga class in the middle of the day - or sleep in.  This new life, in six short months, was created by me and was supported by my higher self - helping me to become the best I can be.  Awesome blossom.

I know that I've always bitched on this blog - bitched about how socially inept Vancouverites are.  My latest is: why are we so good at social networking, but shit at socializing?  That said, right now, the holiday season, living with my best friend (in photo) and her daughter, drinking Bailey's, eating Toblerone and good cheese, and laughing, laughing, laughing - I cannot bitch.  Daily I give thanks for this life. In every moment I am becoming more and more connected and absolutely certain.  All is as it should be.

But, being a preacher - um, teacher, I do have a message: when doing that last bit of Christmas shopping, take the time to hold the door for someone, smile at a passerby, and chit chat with the cashier. You are not in a rush - never too rushed to put a smile on people's faces, never.   Tis the season to be jolly - be jolly when it is difficult, and you earn extra points.  Reap the rewards.  Turn the dark into light. I did, and I wish that for all of you - my some 19 readers (small in number, large in heart).  

Much love y'all.

SORRY'S THE NEW HELLO

When did an apology replace a salutation? The topic was broached (okay, I brought it up) at a party last night when my friend Cin came up with this post title (she wanted credit for it) and a discussion ensued.

Lately, and for a while now, I've been hearing people utter sorry for nothing that requires an apology.  Scenario one:  someone walks in front of you, within your walls of proximity, and so, they say sorry.  Two:  A person, in a blindingly authentic moment  bursts out laughing and immediately looks ashamed uttering sorry, looking around guiltily. Three: You are at a party and an attendee walks towards you and gets stuck for a second as there is a bit of a crowd and they can't pass, so naturally, you hear sorry followed by a quick and painful aversion of the eyes until you can finally break free from one other. Four:  You step on someone's foot, and they say sorry!

Okay, now I understand etiquette, and showing respect but this is taking it too far.  Sorry relinquishes us from any further communication with strangers.  How about walking near someone, smiling, and saying hello as you step on their foot.  Wouldn't that be a refreshing change?  Or, let's bring the flirting back to this fair city - as in, you are at a crowded party, crash into someone (hot preferably), and offer a breathy hello, rather than sorry followed by a quick ear lick.  Fantastic. 

It's getting to the point that when people give me a sorry I say, "why? No need to be sorry.  Please don't be sorry for your existence.  No need to apologize."  People look at me in terror only to utter another sorry for their first sorry. The word has lost all meaning and context.  It's applied anywhere and everywhere merely to keep us apart.  You see, a hello draws people together, a sorry deposits a giant chunk of ice in between two warm bodied people sending them scurrying in opposite directions.  Plus, it dilutes the instances when you truly are sorry.

Like the time, this week, when I ran over someone's foot with my car whilst attempting a particularly harried parallel parking maneuver.  Or, when the dog, my son, jumped on a lady dressed elegantly in white only to leave muddy skid marks in his wake.  What about when I let someone know that they were being a real asshole - it goes something like this, "sorry, but you're a real asshole."  Now, did I mean sorry in any of those circumstances?  All except the asshole incident, yes. 

So, now, how do we change our habits?  I'm out there - living it, letting people know that they have nothing to be sorry about.  That hello works just as well.  That they deserve to be here as much as I and that they need not apologize for being around me, a complete stranger (who is getting increasingly strange). When we think about it, we have nothing to be sorry for.  We're all trying to cohabitate - to get along.  Inauthentic apologies will not help us but hellos will.  We must stop pulling inside ourselves and escaping one another with a sorry and instead smile and say hello.

Anyways, sorry if I offended.
Just kidding.

HAPPINESS - UNBRIDLED!

Walking the dog today with crispy snow on the ground I got to feeling a tad guilty for not writing lately.  Consistently doing the work to feel gratitude, to continue to smile without expectation (toughest challenge yet), to manifest an even brighter tomorrow, and to give, give, give.  

Hard to give when you are being yelled at.  In sales, when you don't know everything single thing about what you are selling cause you're new there and the "trainers" don't supply you with all of the worst case scenario situations, you can get yourself in a lot of shit.  Well, the shit's been flying lately and landing on yours truly.  Good thing I shower regularly.

The only benefit to the shit is how tight my stomach muscles are getting from all of the stress.  There's  always a plus.  At some point, when this woman was throwing fire my way, berating me, and all of that - I just confessed the truth to her, told her that I wish I would have been trained sufficiently to have given her the choices she needed to know about, and the outcome of those choices, but that I wasn't.  Telling her that if she thought this was tough on her, it was even tougher on me - and that still, I'm  saving her money.  Eventually she came around, and I decided that from here on in I am going to be the most honest sales person the world has ever seen.   And so it shall be.

Well, now it is a Sunday, and I am not feeling the Sunday blues.  Nor will I.  I simply refuse to. Tomorrow I start a project close to my heart - developing two plays, to be toured, on anti-cyberbullying with high school students.  This feeds my fire - keeps me smiling - gives my life purpose - and can potentially save some lives. 

The sales =  money, This project = spirit.

My wonderful friend from the land o' sunshine sent me this great email - I had to post it cause it pretty much encapsulates what I'm all about.  Enjoy.

 

How are things?

Good. Yeah, good.

Fine. Things are fine.

Let me ask that question again:

How are things?

Fabulous. It all feels like an adventure right now. I have synchronicities piling up everywhere. I’ve got all the money I need, in fact, it’s flowing good n’ steady. My skin is glowing. Most nights we dance in the kitchen. Even sex is better than ever. I giggle everyday. And really, sometimes when I smile at a stranger in the market I can feel my heart swell. In fact, I swear I felt bliss while I was walking home the other day. Yeah. It was bliss.

Happy?

Then say so.

I notice this in my self, I see it in other people: the happiness muffle. We feel the sparkle, really we do. We feel rich with gratitude, we’re keenly aware of a true smile curled in our cells. We tend to live on the light side of things. But we don’t pronounce it. As a new friend just put it, “we butt back the joy because... happiness is a form of power.”

Is that anyway to treat happiness?

Happiness is power. Happiness is carbonated consciousness. It wants to spill out and radiate and be articulated. And every time we downplay our joy we confuse our synapses. Our brain is firing smiley neurons and our mouth is short circuiting them. Repeated happiness muffling numbs our senses. If you keep it under the surface too long, it just might stay there ... a light under a bushel.

So do us all a favour. No matter what the weather, the odds, the circumstances, the company, if you’re happy and you know it, by all means, say so!

Authentic Backbone?

Authenticity is what I'm after.  That, and self preservation.  How does one offer both within this moody world?  As far as authentic, I just find it so much more compelling to write (and live) the truth about what it is that I'm processing day to day - and to admit it.  Flaws and all, I aim to convey the truth.  But, then people witness the flaws and they're out there.  Regarding self preservation, I realize that I must protect myself against the emotional reactions that erupt when someone finds a flaw in me, my actions, or my words.  Hurt and confused, I often ruminate ad nauseam until I eventually get over it. A testament to the this too shall pass healing solution. Conversely, I am opening myself up and attempting to emotionally remove myself from people's negative reactions to me. 

It's a tough one.  Wading through the shit I keep on stepping in (so very vidid - yuck!) I am finding it increasingly necessary to get more of a backbone. Strange, cause people would say that I'm tough and in control and all of that.  Yet, inside I'm still that twelve year old rocking around in her skin, wondering what the hell she's doing here.  I call on my inner Dalai Lama and wish to remain firmly rooted while bending in the wind.  Bending but not being overly affected by the wind - as it continues to blow hot and cold and warm and weird.  I cannot control the wind but I can control my reaction to it. 

In sales you simply have to develop a stronger backbone.  Being authentic, I can share myself without giving myself away.  Oh blog, how I love you for helping me process this crazy life for all to witness.  How's that for authentic?  Were you authentic today?  So much more interesting, don't ya think?

Smile at Yourself - For Reals

I'm still walking the streets of Vancouver noticing what I am noticing.  How come I'm always witnessing the unfriendliness, the averted eyes, the scowls?  Other people claim to see it as well, but why does it affect me so?  Once in a while someone is genuinely friendly and a lovely, open conversation can occur but mostly people keep to themselves and prefer to avoid human contact.  I miss human contact. 

Yes, I have friends.  My family loves me.  People seem to genuinely be pleased to have me around them.  Yet still, I crave - could be my ego craving, more human interaction and connection in my daily life.  None of us are strangers as we all contain the same universal connection so why do we distance ourselves from each other?  Maybe people don't need interaction as much as I do.  Perhaps it scares others.  Safety means keeping to yourself and not welcoming the unknown - i.e., me, and my rabid dog Bogie, of course.

So, as others will not engage, I must engage with myself more intimately.  The topic of intimacy has come up for me lately.  Not in a sexual way - although leading to that really wouldn't hurt any, but in a spiritual way. If I were to accept myself more, quiet the self destructive and judgmental thoughts, I would be happier.  Living in the moment would be effortless.  Walking through the Endowment Lands I experienced such an opening where suddenly I felt the love of what was, what will be, and all that is happening right now in the world.  I felt connected and very open and in love with my environment and myself.  It was great. But, then life happened again and I left the intimacy behind.  So, in my quest to bring it back I opened Kabbalah month by month, by Melinda Ribner,  and had a look at this month's challenges - the month of Scorpio.  The guidance this book provides me with is truly illuminating and cleansing.

Our true happiness does not come from outside of us.  It is not determined externally or artificially.  It is not true that we need to have personal achievements and possessions to be happy.  This may be the desire of the ego, but it is not that of the soul.  Begin to differentiate between the needs of the ego and those of the soul.  Affirm that you have what you want and are able to receive in your life right now. p. 41.  and  When we blame others, we are weakened, and we are unable to truly move forward.  We need to focus on ourselves, not on others.  Make an effort in this month to assume responsibility for your own life.  Investigate the ways that you sabotage yourself, but be careful not to blame yourself. p. 42.

I swear, it's as if she wrote this just for me.  It is so applicable.  I mean, think about why I write this blog - one, to be famous and two, to make more Vancouverites smile.  Meaning I am looking outside myself, to others, to become happier.  Guess I need validation from others - anyone who crosses my path.  That's something I'll just have to look at. But, I must look at it with love and not judgment, that's the key to healthy growth and the nurturing of true, inward happiness.  The challenge is that I must still emanate happiness but not expect anything in return.  Plus, the whole loving myself thing, unconditionally - yikes. Like I don't have enough on my plate.  Good luck y'all.

Flash Mob = Flash Smile

 

Although I have a few less than merry encounters to recount I will start off with something positive.  Saturday I was fortunate enough to catch the Flash mob - Thriller dance event at the Roundhouse here in Vancouver.  Well, I show up and cannot believe my eyes - a mob of zombies limbering up to dance to MJ's "Thriller", and well, not to be redundant - it was thrilling.  Exclaiming, "wow, amazing... can't believe this!" I did manage to attract a few smiles of glee and for a few moments, with rain pelting our faces, Vancouver's people came together in the name of fun.  It was refreshing and chilling, all at once.  I loved it.

But, of course, in my efforts to battle my demons I do have a not so pretty tale to tell.   Today, when walking the Bogiemeister, and letting him off leash for a few moments in a small park, a lady with a Doberman, yelled, "hey, get your dog!  Leash your dog!  This is a lead only park!" to which I couldn't help but reply, "Oh, thanks for telling me what to do.  Thanks for teaching me." And with a frustrated exclamation exclaimed, "I so love the people of Vancouver!"  Another enemy made.  But, let me say this, on multiple occasions, in this very same park,  I've enjoyed watching my boy canoodling a bunch of other dogs who were, yes, off leash!  It's all just so confusing.  How can I be a good little resident with such fickle rules?

I have to look at myself though and know that I am attracting what I most need to learn - to overcome.  Must figure out how not to react when confronted in such a punitive manner - but it's not easy. One benefit is that my blood was boiling, thus I was warm.  On a cool, blistery day I was warmed by my own fury.  Maybe that's the answer to conquering Vancouver's chilly winter - just keep on reacting with hot blood so that I become hot blooded and well, not cold.  Ironic really. 

Grumpcouver

Grumpcouver, huh? Not nice.  I know.  And, the worst part is that I know I see what I believe and am obsessing about.  I am creating it by focusing on it.  Yet still, yet still - I am seeing it!  So, there must be a germ of truth in the fact that Vancouver's people are slow to smile.  Who knows how often they really do smile. Everyone's like an old wo/man looking for the whippersnappers to make a mistake so that they can lace into them.  Approaching a couple in a beautiful pond setting I saw the head shaking as I was about to pass so just had to say, "I know, I've done something wrong.  You're going to tell me something I did wrong, right?"  And sure enough, Bogie was standing on a beaver dam.  I called the boy and told her I wasn't from here - just visiting.  Felt like lying I guess.

Anyways, stopping to commiserate with a wonderful couple on another trail, with our dogs running around like nuts together, we broached my favorite topic and they, having just returned from The Northwest Territories said that they just didn't get it either.  But, there we were, having a fantastic back and forth - so whose to say, right?  But, we thought we'd say, and what we said was that maybe people were just a little disgruntled here because a) the rain - obvious, but also b) the cost of living here -as in, impossible to buy in Vancouver if you can't afford half a mill for a home. Well, it could be the whole, no matter what I do or how I believe in manifesting destiny, I can't seem to get the image of all these really wealthy people owning all the property out of mind.  The rest of us will be just shining their shoes, or living in their homes, paying way too much, and hence never getting our own free standing home.  It's disconcerting but not impossible to overcome.

So, the turnaround.  Who the heck cares if you own a home in this lifetime because you never really own anything - it's all illusion.  We like to think that by holding these pieces of paper and then exchanging them for goods we'll be happy and I'm here to say that - shit, it's true.  It can make you happy.  Okay, so I will just manifest - believe in my impending wealth in all areas of my life, and forget about people with broigus expressions on their faces.  Yes, I'll just plug away and smile inwardly - at myself, who apparently really needs these smiles cause I'm certainly not going to receive them as often as I wish out on the streets.  Like the man in a cul-de-sac in Yaletown, where I was on the phone to figure out where my friends were, who pulled up beside me to yell, on top of his lungs, " GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE! GET OFF YOUR PHONE! YOU ARE A REALLY STUPID HUMAN BEING!"  and more.  Hmmm... the fire was rising in my chest and is still kinda there since I'm writing about it now but I just sneered, "Nice man, nice human being - thank you, you wonderful person!"  Honestly, if'n I had a shotgun I woulda blown that guys stupid blue tooth PHONE earbud off his ear  - and I would liked it. Another person telling me what to do! 

It's like the universe is laughing cause I've always hated authority, so now I have the entire world tsk'ing and finger wagging and YELLING to tell me what to do!  Okay!  I get it!  I will just work humbly without expectation and find happiness in the tiniest of moments.  Okay.  Enough with these people.  Let them come to me!  A little test.  Chugga chugga chugga blah blah on I go.  Getting shit done.  Paving my way.   Smiling for myself - at the very least. I certainly hope I appreciate it.

I REMEMBER

I remember the echo of my footfalls in strangers' carports as I ran home from ballet class in Montreal's frozen winter

I remember perfect days on my white ten speed where I wanted for nothing

I remember the bubbling sensation in my chest while sitting on my parents’ bed when things seemed to be going so well for us

I remember finding marijuana in my dad’s gym bag and feeling personally insulted and older and wiser than him

I remember canoe trips where I complained and whined but loved every minute of it

I remember the sound of the vacuum banging my door to awaken me out of my perfect teenage slumber

I remember biting down on my hand to draw blood to show my mum how incensed I was with her

I remember feeling a sort of uneasiness when my mom would force my dad to kiss her

I remember being petrified that my parents would split up

I remember wondering why in the world my parents got married

I remember hearing about my mother’s pregnancy at nineteen and consequent marriage to my dad

I remember loving being alone

 

The Challenge HI

It's getting to the point where I'm totally over analyzing this whole smiling and friendliness thing.  Now, keep in mind, I'm walking for at least an hour daily with The Bogart, so I pass people, and often!  Because I've got this whole make Vancouver friendlier mission, I am looking at approaching traffic as opportunities and when they don't match up to my grand goal I get a little pissed.  Even been pshhhhing when someone really ignores me - which happens a lot.  So, I think I've got the challenge "hi" thing going now on the defense cause I'm starting to take this whole eye diversion thing personally, or real personal like my peeps in the South would say.  Now I've got the whole "come on, I dare ya, I dare ya to smile!  Come on MF'er " kinda mug on my face.  Not working.  You know what?  I'm a friggin' hypocrite.

My current analysis has yielded some results:  Vancouverites are punitive.  They search for the bad, or rather the mistakes, in people and they adore pointing it out.  Follow the rules, follow the rules like a bunch of bike riding, Patagonia wearing Oompa Loompas.  But these ones really take charge and when you don't stop for an ambulance, or you do but it already passed so no sense just sitting there staring in awe so you go around the dumbfounded drivers and they get pissed.  So very much finger wagging, head shaking, I say - chiropractors must make a killing here.  Or, the ones in eighteen wheelers who may just honk at you scaring the beJesus (or, the Begrilledcheesus [if you watch Glee]) outta you and when you jump and turn they're ol' diget's a waggin' and you cannot believe these strangers keep on telling you what to do.  And then it hits you!  Or me, as it were,  I am just like them!  I deem my smile campaign as righteous so it's okay to tell strangers what to do.  All the same it is still trying to control people and teach them what I believe is the right way to behave in public.  Who am I?  And what is this whole thing doing to me?

By trying to get everyone to smile and then getting all pissed when they don't I am being a punitive friendship ambassador! That just doesn't fly.  But, now that it's in my head, how do I get rid of it?  The real reason for this blog is to become truly happy here even if tons of people don't seem to be.  I keep telling myself that I know nothing about anybody - what kind of life they've led, whether within a millisecond they could break out into a beautiful smile.  I don't know that.  But, you see I'm a smilophile, I love those goofy teeth baring things.  They are infectious and they are very, very happy and they just warm everything up.  I know it's climate related, but I'm just wishing for more of those smiles.  They're so much fun.

Okay, so it's cold here, but lately stunning, but eventually cold and wet.  People hunker, batten down the hatches, and get from point A to point B - no messin' around.  But when it's good, and there's a moment, a tiny opportunity then just do it:  connect and warm the air. In Florida smiles were passed around like cheap wine at a Slovakian wedding and it was just as much fun.  Warm weather - warm smiles, Cold weather - few smiles.  But can't we work on this?  Am I fighting a losing battle.  Should I just join 'em?

I must confess:  sometimes, I too, don't feel like offering a smile.  Guess that's all right sometimes.  Okay, that said, I could then say that I don't want someone trying to make me smile - that that would piss me off or something. But you know what?  It so wouldn't.  No matter what, I am up for the smile and have one at the ready for the ones living their very own smile mission.  I will give any challenge HI that comes my way a very special smile - pearly whites a blazin'.   May we grow in numbers.

Am I One of Them?

Since arriving back to Vancouver in June I've worked and worked and cast out net upon net and now, after four months, I'm beginning to see the fruits, or fish, of my labor.  There is a light - as there always was, but now it is more tenable.  But, along with the wins comes this never ending desire for more, More, MORE! 

So, I find myself moving from one destination to the next, brows furrowed in thought, strategizing my next moves, pumped up.  And guess what's happening? I'm turning away from oncoming pedestrians so as not to have to try to engage,  or to avoid the possible disappointment at their lack of engagement.  I too am becoming a Vancouverite just like them.  Because the smiles don't always come so easy, it always takes a bit of work.  Work that is a tad uncomfortable.  Sometimes I don't feel like being uncomfortable - so, I opt out.

But, as the smile ambassador, I was analyzing my recent shift when a woman approached in a black hoody.  The drizzles were hunching us into ourselves while we passed each other by.  But, lo and behold - this woman looked at me and smiled shyly as if it say, "even under this hoody, a smile can lurk."  I mirrored her smile and felt just a bit more happy. Even peaceful.

So, this is to the lady who helped me today by letting me know that I must keep being in the moment, casting my gaze on my fellow Vancouverites, and producing my own easy smile to help theirs come to the surface.  Oh Vancouver, we'll get there.

To Grab the Last Brownie or Not? That is the question.

Happiness is created from within.  We are the captains of our fate  and the creators of our fulfillment.  The more negative traits that we  “sacrifice” within ourselves, the more we are able to manifest  fulfillment. Today, go against one aspect  of your selfish nature. -A Kabbalistic Daily Message.   Sounds so simple...yet not.  How often do we think  about ourselves first?  Ummm... mostly always.   When doing so, like in a line up, a car lane, an office  meeting, a buffet we are simply putting ourselves first  at the expense of others.  Not always, but a lot - it's our  inherent nature.  Notice it.  Does it help you live in  the moment?  Or, does it just create more space between  yourself and others?  More importantly, does it  bring you happiness?   Okay, I gotta admit - sometimes when I do  manage to get the last brownie on the desert tray I fully enjoy the moment - I mean, like happier  than I've ever been in my life, but then what happens?  I become a tad uncomfortable and wonder why I am  always trying to get what I want and don't always think  that others may want it too.  Well, now I try to stop,  restrict for a second or two, and then grab the brownie  anyways cause Fuck it, they're friggin' awesome!   No, no - I truly question my motives when attempting  to get what I want and if anything it just makes me  more aware of others and how I can be a bit better  to others.  I don't know, worth a try, especially if it  brings some form of peace.  And peace leads to  happiness, right?  Om.

The Gods were Smiling When...

In a moment of panic to buy soy milk I bolted from my car, ran to the store, made the purchase and rushed home.  Once home, I found that I couldn't find my cell phone!  Yes, the phone was gone - this time for real.  My lifeline - my Blackberry - gone.  What did I do?  Where did I leave it?  

It was the kind of day where nothing is really going all that right. I'm living out of my car, chucking things here and there and swinging my bag into the back without a thought of its contents.  But, no, it wasn't in the bag when chucked - it was on the door where I carelessly leave it when not talking, or texting while driving (so kidding).  Shit!  It dawns on me...

The phone fell off the door, when swung open in a soy milk deprived stupor, and onto the very busy street.  Shit!  So, I seriously scream, "FUUUUUUCKKKKKK!"  and run out to my car, fly to the spot I had parked in not fifteen minutes ago, park illegally across the street, and run helter skelter to the spot.  When, what do I see?   My cell phone, face down, dangerously close to oncoming tire wheels, and safe! I run to it - halt oncoming traffic - clean off the dust, and cannot believe my good luck.


Funny how it takes the fear of bad circumstance to infuse us with intense gratitude.  Yes, the Gods were smiling on me that day and for that my whole day and mood changed.  Smiles.

Plucking at Laugh Lines

This morning I was looking in the mirror, plucking the eyebrows when I tried to pluck at this dark hair on the corner of my eye.  Then I realized that it wasn't actually an eyebrow but a laugh line!  Oy.  I tried to pluck my laugh line.  But, if truth be told, hair bugs me much more than laugh lines do. 

Some of my friends complain about all lines on their faces, including laugh lines.  While I don't love and rejoice over some of the facial lines (like the gorgeous forehead split - dead center which is making me contemplate bangs) I have grown fond of the laugh ones.  You see, they are a mark of a life laughed over.  One where I seek out and often manage to find the comedy in most all situations.  Once, after falling over a cliff on my bike, I laughed - delirious, you say, you are probably right, I reply.

When you see an old person coming towards you, you immediately can tell what kind of person they are, their character, based on their lines. Some have this face that droops down, down, down like a hound dog which tells the story of a life full of dissapointment and resentment.  While others, like mine is destined to be, with eye creases, and a mouth permanentaly upturned,  informs outsiders that this person is friendly, open, and fun.  I'd prefer the latter.

So, while ridding myself of all unwanted hair, and maybe a few yucky lines, I will not scoff over my laugh lines.  Because I want to be that old broad who approaches people and doesn't scare them away, but has them saying "hey, wanna hear a joke?"  That's what I want.  Then my evil twin Judy will scoff, "Ahh...move along you whippersnapper!"  Can't wait to be cantankerous!  Then I'll burst out laughing thereby deepening my well deserved lines o' laughter!  Laugh on my people - and celebrate those comedic lines!

Ever the Optimist - I will Survive! Dammit!

Yesterday, and I know it sounds pitiful, I cried a lot.  There I am going from sale to sale only to close nothing and feel like a shmendrick.  I'm like the modern, female version of Willy Loman.  Trudging along with suitcase in hand, always going for that Big Deal that tantalizingly dangles a hair away from my nose.  To commemorate these daily trials I've composed a short poem:

Today I woke up full of Hope and Promise

and still

nothing happened

And, as I sit here on a Saturday morning, coffee in hand, I'm filled with optimism, yet again.  Somehow I know that next week deals will close and I will have the mighty paycheck.  And, I tell you, when that happens, I will go out for dinner - oh, I will! And, I will enjoy it like I've never enjoyed it before.

Next week - something will happen.  Well, every week something happens.  But, next week money will happen.  They say money doesn't bring happiness.  They are the ones with money. I'm pretty happy so money will not be the basis for my happiness but as I sip a glass of lovely wine, order my appetizer, and chat with my loving friends,  knowing that I don't have to do the dishes following dinner, oh, I will be happy! 

Does a Pity Smile Count?

So, there's self-pity. It happens.  Mainly cause shit happens. We feel it's happening to us, and that life is out of our control.  Life is how we view it based on how we react. But, not feeling so strong today my usual oh, it's all going to be fabulous! You know it.  It's the only way that it can be.  You are making it happen.  Good girl. Good girl... and so on didn't kick in today when I went to get my car inspected only to find out that I'd have to spend yet another five hun and something or else, oh, I don't know, the wheels would fall off.  Is it really all that important?  How bad could it be?  Wheels could fall off and I could then just bump off to the side of the road all confused but unharmed, right?

Then I got to thinking about how I'm working these sales, got a bunch on the burner, the boiling point imminent,  yet still...I became a complete failure when I clearly saw the future and the money I needed to spend as soon as I made it when I need it for other stuff like oh, food and such.  Anyways, so there I was in an alley - not like that.  In my car, in the alley, a nice alley with bushes and stuff, with my radio going, crying.  Just deciding to let her rip.  A lady passes by, I think of ducking but don't, I'm going to let my tears shine just like my smiles do when what do I get? Uh huh.  A pity smile! The lady crossing in front of my car with the stretchy lime green pants gave me a pity smile.  And, you know what, it make me fucking sadder.

Now, being all Smile Vancouver and stuff I have to somehow see the upside of my situation, right?  Right.  So, after many hours of well deserved self-pity I thought that money is nothing but how I value it.  There is a need and I will survive.  I'll better than survive but for now, I have to just take the bad and really, really enjoy the good.  Like right now, sitting outside, glass of wine, kids playing or fighting - hard to tell sometimes, my pally is cooking up a feast, and Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) is tomorrow night, and things aren't so bad. Bring on the shift.

I am so excited for this coming year cause things can only go up. It is the way they must go. Man, they are going to soar ever so high.  Money is merely borrowed while we're here on earth so I'm going to continue to focus on my spirit and know that happiness is derived from my spirit truly finding the good, even if it's the teeny tiniest of good in all situations.  Such as, if I don't fix those wheels I could be speeding as I tend to do being a Montrealer and all and then maybe crash and not be able to walk or something.    Ahhhh... there we go, all better.  I'll just get it fixed and not even pay for it - that's what credit is for.  Much much better. I'm smiling on the inside now. 

Familiar Strangers - we all have'm!

So, you walk down the same street, hallway, stairwell, or mall and see, yet again that girl, or that guy, whom you always see.  Thinking, "that shirt looks so much better on him than that orange one he was wearing two days ago," or "hey, she got a new haircut!  Looks awesome!" you continue on your merry way.  Nary a word was shared - only eyes darting ever so quickly towards one another and away again.  How many familiar strangers do we all have?  I don't know but I've got a plan.

So, what say we break the pattern and begin by, oh, nodding with that I know you know that I know that we see each other on a regular basis. I see you - you exist - and you is A Otay in my book!  Start with that. I don't want to scare Vancouverites into true, east coast friendliness so let's start with the you exist in my world acknowledgment.  The other day, on a rocky, secluded unofficial dog beach, I met this young family.  The woman and I got along famously and I mentioned my blog and my mission and she said that as a Vancouverite she really doesn't feel like smiling to people and going outside herself.  That she wants to stay in her head, thinking  about her stuff.  But, now with her son, she is seeing the other side.  Her son smiles and says hi to everyone and the people smile and are genuinely touched by his lovely, open manner.  So, with a little coaxing from the smile ambassador, this nice lady might begin smiling more. With her son at her side, she might have no choice.  Back to FS' in our lives.

So, start with a nod to your familiar stranger - then see what transpires.  Perhaps the nod will lead to a chat.  Then the chat will lead to a laugh. Now,  you are laughing when seeing this person whilst going through the maze of your life to get whatever it is that  you need to get done to actually have a life with some semblance of order.  In other words, when going from here to there, share.  And then, the familiar stranger becomes an acquaintance.  An acquaintance can become...who knows?  Open up people!  Now smile.

New Beginnings - New Year - Mission Statements - Apples mit Honey

September is a time of beginning and change - not just for the Jewish people who celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, but for everyone.  The days get shorter, the leaves are changing colors, and we become more introspective as we look at life more on the inside, than the out.  Yes, fall is a time to fall back into old patterns of cocooning, slurping comfort foods, and watching our favorite, albeit guilty pleasure, TV shows.  At least that's how I see it.  But, when I went to meet with Rabbi Shmuli the other night to discuss the Kabbalastic interpretation of the Jewish New Year I saw this time of change a bit more profoundly.

Our lives can be broken down into the kinds of times we are having:  depressing, productive, and holy.  In order to feel more fulfilled, and have more control, on a daily basis we must find a way to steer ourselves more lucidly.   So,  a plan was set in motion thousands of years ago whereby every new moon, or Rosh Chodesh, was marked as the head of the month.  And, as the head of the month, we have to go inside our heads, set our goals for the month ahead (p the p), and remind ourselves upon awakening daily of the goals - or our own MISSION STATEMENT for the month.  But, now, at this time of year, we have an even greater opportunity to set our heads straight and must create our year's mission statement.

At the head of the day - or the first two minutes of every day, take the time to meditate on your month's mission statement (which, of course, coincides with the year's one). Believe that you will overcome adversity so that you will not fall into old patterns of self-effacing thoughts, of victim emotions, and of external pressure (as in all the people you confront on a daily basis).  While it is not easy - it is even harder without the day's mission statement starting you off, revving your motor.

For those of us who partake in the Jewish New Year (and, for the record, I think everyone should!), I have some new Apple mit honey meaning for you from the Shmulimeister.  He said that the apple is like our ordinary life - some apples are sweet, some are sour, some are in between.  The apple represents the ordinary times of our lives.  Then there's the honey - the honey is sweet yet comes from a bee who stings... hmmm.  So, out of something painful like a sting can come the sweetest of gifts - honey.  Get the metaphor?  So, we take the apple, our ordinary times, and dip it in honey and whisper to ourselves:  Please help me to find the sweet in the tough times I will encounter this year. 

I will do just that when I sit around my chosen family's Rosh Hashanah dinner table - and, chances are, I will give a little speech (I so love speaking!).  And, it's not easy lately for me to be happy.  Yesterday was a pretty negative day and I dipped down into fear and depression and saw myself as less than I am or could be.  I'm working for this company Debit Credit Canada offering people the best possible rates on credit card processing for their business.  Only everyone promises the same thing but not everyone is an independent broker.  Nor does anyone offer a chance for us to analyze their reports and to save them money without any cost.  All the same it's a tough sale.  There's also an altruistic component to the business called the Chai Advantage but convincing my fellow Jews that there is no catch, they can save money and give to charity, is friggin' challenging.  How'd we all get so cynical?  Oh, I know - years of oppression blah blah blah.

So, yeah, doing the sales thing.  Applying for every job on Craigslist:  Roofer?  Well, my grandfather had a roofing company - that counts as experience, right?  Hand model?  I have hands!  At the same time I'm trying to spend nothing so that I can keep the pittance of cash in the bank for a deposit on a place that can't cost me all of the pittance.  And, applying as a substitute teacher - when I worked full-time for ten years, and have a Masters degree.  So, the poor me mentality is often taking over my positive mission statement, and personal drive.  But, the sad thing is that no matter what I have to keep going - I gotta push so that I get settled.  I'd like to be like the apple - have some ordinary times for a bit rather than this fucking struggle.

So, I began the day today with an epiphany and I will go with that.  They are free, right? And, when I find myself treading downhill towards the Place of Lack I will just have to take a detour to the Place of Have and go over my talents, ultimate possibilities, and trust in the energy source of the universe.  What I put out I eventually get back, right?   Well, I'm ready! 

There is no such thing as "can't!"

Here I am worrying about making my first sale with my new job, finding a home to live in that makes me feel settled, and so much more when I watch this amazing man who was born sans arms and legs.  These people are a gift to us and to just watch him speak with such passion and certainty is sobering.  Get inspired - click here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE

Gourmet Meal for One? Wine Not?

Fresh Leaves with ground beets, petite tomatoes, tuna, homemade guacamole, goat cheese, and walnuts

I've been on my own most of my life but having been a teacher for a lot of it I didn't always have the cash to dine the way a princess deserves to dine.  But, my tastes are definitely up there.  So, what's a gal to do?  I tell you what she does:  she starts cooking, creating, listening to music while the inspiration builds, sips wine throughout the process, thinks about how great her body will feel once these nutrients take effect, makes sure that the flavors match, plates it beautifully, and then dines. 

I have a friend who has never lived alone.  When I let her know that I am cooking up a feast for myself of halibut stuffed with a combination of carrots, celery, butter, garlic, and breadcrumbs with a side of whipped yams she wonders if I am sane, stating, " How can you cook for yourself?"  If not me, then who?  Let's face it, I love myself more than I love anyone else.  So, why wouldn't I then feed myself such delectables?  Why would I have to wait for company to put together an epicurean feast?  That's right: no reason. 

So, there's my bit on caring for ourselves.  And if caring means running an aromatherapy bath, pouring a glass of wine, grabbing a gourmet chocolate bar with a great book, and then jumping in and melting the day away - then so be it.  Who said we couldn't have as much fun when alone?  Why do we feel like we are wasting time if we are focusing on pampering ourselves?  Yes, love others.  Yes, make the calls and set up plans and help out your friends and neighbours, but you really can't do it fully charged unless you care for yourself first.

Oh, and while I was slowly savoring my salad last night, I was smiling. 

Do What you Love - Pro Bono!

Grappling with my life's purpose and manifesting a life where I'll be happy and make money has been running through my mind lately. I mean, I absolutely loved and was charged up by being a Drama teacher but now, alas, the thrill is gone. So, I wonder if I will find a job that brings in the money I wish to bring in - aka: A FUCK OF A LOT, and love it too.

Last night, Housewives were all repeats so I was searching for something to watch. I went to Ted.com and looked up, you guessed it: Happy. And, then I found this guy, Gary Vaynerchuk, who pushes the audience, no holds barred, into finding their passion and doing it. The thing that really stuck was that you don't do what you love to make money - you do something else, during the day to make money, and then you do this thing that really excites you after the money is made. I love it. That is what I am doing with this Blog.

I love writing and helping people. In fact, one of my ex-students, whom I really did not know I was effecting at all, Facebooked me in gratitude for all of the wise words I spouted (didn't know he could hear through all that hair), and how they resonate with him today and are helping him. He even found Yoga through me. Fantastic! That is what makes me tick. That is my reason for existence. Alleviating some degree of uncertainty, unhappiness, or stress from those I love, and strangers too, makes my heart swell. I do love myself so I want to give myself an increasing amount of those heart swelling moments and I will, with this here blog.

Coming Soon: Ask Jodi! Move aside Dear Abbie - there's a new kid in town!

Now - Click here to watch Gary spew his appeal for your happiness!

http://www.ted.com/talks/gary_vaynerchuk_do_what_you_love_no_excuses.html

Just say YES!

I rarely let the word No escape from my mouth
Because it is so plain to my soul
That God has shouted, Yes! Yes! Yes!
To every luminous movement in Existence
- Hafiz

Yes is the Breath of Creation, or so I read in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book: The Power of Intention. And so, with that, I say yes to everything - and even when I say no, I don't use the no word, instead I say Oh, well, while pleasuring you in front of this here camera does sound tempting, how about we play Peenuckle instead? See the spin? So positive it may just make you wanna gag (pun intended). But really, there is something to this Yes thing. Coming from a family of no speakers, I got my work cut out for me.

My family precedes every sentence with "no". Like, if I say, Oh, look, you bought another new car! One of the sisters might say, No, I just traded it in. I don't get it. Yes, you bought a new car. Do you like it? I may ask. To which the reply would come out as, No, it's fine - but a car doesn't really excite me all that much. Okay. When do you allow the Yes to emerge? The Yes to admit, hey, yeah, it did make me happy. Yes, I bought yet another new car. Isn't that fun? Dangit, that no-habit has always grated on my nerves.

So, what is the solution. Eliminate No from your vocabulary. I know (ha) that's not possible, but just think Fuck Yes! more. See what transpires. Will the universe provide a lot of serendipitous moments? Or will you just feel a bit more buoyant? Whatever it is, give it a thought. Now, know this: the only reason I am writing all of this stuff is because I am in a situation which can be construed as a No situation, one of lack, but instead, am doing whatever it friggin' takes to make it a Yes one. This Yes stuff has been offering me tons of positive happenings where moment to moment - the knowledge that everything will be all right, and that it is all right, right now, prevails.

So, I just finished teaching ESL yesterday. Now, I must start a new job (sales), make a sale within two weeks, find a place to live in that I can afford, in a friendly area with a yard for Bogie (my main squeeze), get my stuff shipped here from Montreal, make more money and mo' money to pay off my yucky debt, find my soul mate who will be hot and established and non-commitment phobic, and make all of Vancouver Smile. I could feel the weight of it pushing me down, but instead of being all heavy, I choose buoyancy with my new mantra: YES!!!!!!!!!!

Small Talk = Smile Talk

Okay, I must confess something. Although I go on and on about smiling and being friendly and loving your neighbor and all of that, I have a problem: I abhor small talk. Answering inane questions like: "So what did you do to cool off this weekend?" or "So, what do you do?" or "It's flea season you know". This fake smile, yes, fake, plasters itself across my face and I just mumble some semblance of a response. I am so bad at this. This, I confess, is why I write this blog.

If I am truly to love my neighbor and to be the Ambassador for Smiling in Vancouver then I have to see past people's social snooze inducing small talk to the point: they are being friendly. But, that said, if it was a hot guy or a cool looking chick then I would not even hear the minutia being spouted but would engage with energy. Perhaps I judge the people that attempt to converse with me a tad too harshly. If I am to spread the love then I have to love everyone. That,my friends, is the biggest challenge of all.

Please, if you have any words of advice regarding small talk and truly giving everyone a chance, and opening myself to loving them, then please, I welcome your wisdom with open ears. Just don't ask me what the weather forecast is. Thanks and smiles to you.

The Ego Blaster - Now is the Time!

I am struggling with what to write. Not wanting to lose the momentum, I've got to write something. So, in reading a Kabbalistic interpretation of the month of Virgo - the fall season - the approaching Jewish New Year, I am... well, I'm still struggling. I don't want to write nothing - I mean I've got tons to say, but I also don't want to be all preachy, which I can be from time to time. So, how do I make this pop? How do I send words out there that resonate with you? Answer: Just do it.

The month of Virgo is one where you have to take an honest look at yourself from within - deep enough to be able to look out at your ego (your personality, which is changeable if you didn't know), and see how you really handled life this past year. Did you piss people off? Yes. Did you revert to old reactions and take many,many steps back in your growth? Yes. Were you unkind to yourself when you looked in the mirror or whenever you saw a happy couple and wondered if you were ever deserving of such love and comfort? Yes and yes. Now then, time to heal.

How's about we forgive ourselves for treating others like shit first. Don't let the ego interject with: But they totally deserved it - I had to lash out at them and let them know that they were assholes! You didn't. Or, but life is so tough for you. It's not tough for them, or them, or them. You deserve to drink a lot, or eat a half ton of Callebault chocolate, or read trashy novels about Gwenevere and her Tarzanesque young lover. Fiction. Let it all go. Breathe. Shed the old - let the leaves fall - cleanse. It is a time to make resolutions. Achievable ones.

So, now, on our road to happiness we must do some work. It can come if you are clueless and just happy with everything - but chances are that if you are you probably sport a helmet and suspenders (I know, I know - that side just has to come out - it's funny,right?). For the rest of us, it's work. See the real you - love and let go of the parts of yourself that you are not particularly proud of, and then abolish the ego and reach out to people who have slighted you and yes, forgive them too. Result: your heart will open and the light will fill it up - and guess what? You will feel much lighter, much happier, and will...yes, you guessed it: Smile, Smile, SMILE!

"HI " does not a Conversation make

I wonder what it is that makes Vancouverites (some, not all) so damn repressed and inside themselves that they can't quite grasp the concept of engaging repartee. Maybe it's that when it's beautiful, and you look at the mountains, you realize how small you are, and then go inside yourself. Or, maybe it's that when the rains come, you cover up, cowering under its weight, and once again, go inside yourself. Don't know. But, here's a way to open up and be a vibrant part of the social world here:

When someone says, "hi" you:

- say, "hi" followed by a "how ya doin'?"
- say, "great, I was just thinking about how little I know about you..."
- say, "wonderful! Just got laid... you?"

Whatever you say, there has got to be some Give and Take! If someone asks you what you do and then you go into this long Edith like diatribe about your recent career change and how you are really educated but way too overqualified and that's why nobody will hire you and how you have found yourself at a crossroads in your life but thank God for your wonderful friends and yoga - hey! wait a minute. That's me. Okay, so point is, that after the long-winded response, you must, must, must ask (yes, even if you don't give a shit), "and what do you do?" Because I guarantee that you will walk away knowing a bit more about the ins and outs of wedge bolts that you would have never known had you not asked the reciprocal question.

People! Let's learn from each other. Let's step out of our caterpillar shells into the freaky butterflies we all know we are cause, and get this: We all believe that we are secretly insane. So much in common! Ask questions. Get talking. Laugh. And smile smile smile!

Swept off My Feet! Literally.

By a dog. Yes, you heard it. A dog, my friend's dog Charlie, was running full speed with Bogie, and lifted me straight up off my feet. Literally. I flew up and came crashing down on my side, in the dirt. Guess what? I didn't freak out. Like Johnson's Baby Shampoo - There were no tears. In fact, I felt quite spry. A canine chiropractic adjustment - it took years off my life, and the cost: free!

You see? That's how it's done. One need not be flattened by the lift us off our feet scenarios but can step back, take a breath, and ask: how can this be good for me? The more difficult it is to ask that question, the more there is to learn and benefit from the scenario. So, so difficult but the payoff - better than you could ever imagine. But do imagine it. Imagine it now - while in the shit. Know that you are only given what you can handle, and that if handled with care, you will grow IN just a little bit right now to become just a tad more resilient and yes, dare I say, happy.

Finding the laugh in any given situation is always a way to the light of it. And, guess what's happening when you are laughing? Yes! You are so brilliant! You are SMILING!!

Stop Thinking. Take Action.

So many of us wait to be happy throughout the day. We make deals with ourselves: when I eat lunch, I'll be happy; When the laundry is done, I'll be happy; When I lose weight, I'll be happy; When I get a boyfriend, I'll be happy; When I make more money, I'll be happy. Yeesh! Depressing.

I say, stop thinking and making these deals, take action now and just be happy. I know, I know... but life sucks. Well, it can if you think it so or it doesn't have to. Take me, for example, when I feel down I simply down a fifth of scotch. So totally kidding. It's red wine. But anyways, all of our life's problems can be rectified with this simple Stop Thinking, Take Action game plan.

When confronted with what appears to be a large bulk of work, a crazy ass deadline, or a personal goal to attain then simply stop thinking and spouting, "I really should lose these three hundred and fifty extra pounds..." and get a piece of paper and break down the actions that need to happen, and the time line that you will need to follow in order to get it done. Then, and get this, cause this is the tricky part, follow your friggin' plan like that boss part of you is the meanest mf'r that was and perform each action on time. Guess what happens? You reach your goal and it just wasn't nearly as hard as you thought it would be.

It's about little actions that lead to the whole goal. It's about finding space within your life where you know that you are following your boss' rules and so now you can relax, and yes, oh, wait for it... wait for it... SMILE!!

BETTER THAN BOTOX? !!

Test: Look at yourself in a mirror. Now, turn the light on. Okay, ready? Don't smile. See all those lines, and droopy skin, and indentations? Okay, now smile. What do you see? Uh huh. Miraculous. Cost: Nothing. Benefit: Increased Self-Esteem. Bonus Benefit: Happiness.

Olympic Fakers - Bring it on Back!

Guess what? Vancouver's a super friendly place! It is. According to all of the people who visited our little shangrila during the Olympics. Flags were flyin', red shirts were being a worn, music was playin' in the streets, and the People Were SMILING! Yes! For two whole weeks, Vancouver's residents put aside their silent scowls and woke up smiling. Ahhhh, life was great back then. I say, where are you now??? Come on back! Imagine that now we're in the Life Olympics and that those who win the gold medal are the ones who decide daily, that no matter what happens, they will find a reason to be grateful, happy, and yes, friendly to all.

Naysayers - Crack one Already!!

Oh, Vancouver, with your "you're not allowed to do this" and "don't do that" and "these are the rules, we don't really know why, nor can we answer you, but we will act like the rules makes sense, and will back them, but cannot have a conversation with you about them because authentic dialogue where rational explanations are expressed scares us!" OH JCC Volunteers - y'old cotton heads! God love you. So, so intimidated when questioned about the THREE rows of roped off area for "VIP's" so they said, or "Latecomers!" when I expressed, "So, we get penalized for being on time and don't get a seat when we paid for them?" to which the young girl in charge flung past me and ripped the protective barrier from those VIP seats! Nary a Smile was seen on this night where lovely swing music played. Nor were heads a bobbin'. The musicians actually made comments. Oh, Musicfest goers, Norman Rothstein patrons, LIGHTEN UP! But, that said, I did have fun with my Yogi pal Lans, and managed to spread the love throughout the evening regardless of the atmosphere.

A Monday Morning Smile... what?

Yes, it is true. After a pretty uneventful, yet happy, nonetheless, evening of healthy eating and tv and laughter I have awoken inspired! Today I meet a new group of students from other countries to whom I must teach our lovely language. Two more weeks of this and then I am done. Smiling today while students stare at me blank faced and sleepy will be my day's most difficult smile challenge. But, after starting this site, and having a gazillion ideas on how it will take off, I am more than the moment. And in that moment, where a kid is practically drooling while gazing at me with utter incomprehension, I will remember that my life is not really about this specific moment but about where I am heading - what future moments will bring me and in those moments I will be doing more of what inspires me. The challenge is to get a hold of my reactions, observe them without becoming them, and then smile with knowledge that it is about what I give to others - and so, right then and there, I will turn up my patience dial and will be kind and loving to this child. Smile on Monday! Smile on!

I wanna live the Good Life without paying the Big Price! HELP ME!

Yes, it is true. After a tumultuous year where I barely had my own place for more than two months I am ready to commit to Vancouver. Oh, Vancouver... why must you be so expensive? Beauty costs I guess.

All right, if anyone out there knows of a great two or three bedroom with a yard near Main street I'd like to hear about it. Or, if someone would like to live with me then we can live large and pay less. Let's live the good life without paying the big price!


Must have loads of light because come November with its three-thirty pm darkness I will need some kind of luminescence coming in through large windows creating the illusion of daytime.

The First Lesson in Building a Friendlier Vancouver

It’s good to smile.  When I was a waitress, in my twenties, I often showed up to work in a less than fantastic mood.  I’d even have to work whilst going through serious heartache.  But, I knew that if I didn’t smile then I wouldn’t make any tips. So, I would smile – albeit a fake one at first, but then eventually it became real. You see, studies have shown that your body can trick your mind into believing.  In this case, the smile tricked me into believing I was happy.  And, lo and behold, I’d actually become happy.  Great lesson.

So, I would like to propose this, my fellow Vancouverites:  start smiling!  Start by being a part of the world in which you travel day to day.  When outside, there are other members of your species.  By reaching out, past yourself, to a) notice them, and b) acknowledge their existence with a smile or a “hello”, you become happier.  You are playing a part in building community.  People start smiling back, then they become happy, then their smiles are genuine, then they pass on this genuine good heartedness to one another, and so on.  It is a win win, people.

Many single women, and there are many, complain that the men are not friendly. It’s not surprising that I’ve heard the same observation from single men. I myself have noticed with increased regularity a man’s unwillingness to even glance at a woman.  The woman is left feeling invisible.  So, she goes inside herself and does not put herself out there.  He is not smiling.  She is not smiling.  And, we all end up going home to our single lives feeling even lonelier.  A simple action plan involves a) noticing people and b) smiling at them.  It is not hard.  It does work to make a happier Vancouver.

When I pull over to be a kind driver and the other driver refuses to even glance at me and offer the little thank-you wave, or smile, I get angry.  I know I shouldn’t, but I do.  I mean, I pulled over for them.  I’m busy too.  But, I’ve learned that in my day to day life it is all about the moment and that in each moment I have a chance to connect – to connect to the land, to animals, or to people.  To give to others is to connect to them. I put in a great effort to connect because I know that such connections make me happy.  See? It’s not all that altruistic.  It is as simple as that.  But when I don’t get the perfunctory wave, I grow disheartened and think that maybe I should join’em rather than beat’em. But, I like a challenge.

So, I propose this:  we all want to be happy. Human beings need a few fundamentals: food and shelter and love.  It’s true.  The love can come from loving our fellow human beings, our neighbors, our bus mates, our store clerks.  It is not hard.  Look for the good in others. Take an extra thirty seconds to have a little chat with the cashier.  Complement someone on their shoes, or cool earrings.  If we get out of our bubbles with its “me first”  mentality, we will find that we have more full and thus, fulfilling lives.  It really is about the journey, the day to day, the minutia.  And all of those little bits make up a whole life – a life which can either be happy or meh.  No meh for me please.  So, I will continue to smile and to make people laugh and to flatter and to go beyond my comfort zone because at the end of the day, when I look in the mirror, I know that I did my part in trying to make Vancouver a funner city.  I know it’s not a word.  Made you smile!