There is no such thing as "can't!"

Here I am worrying about making my first sale with my new job, finding a home to live in that makes me feel settled, and so much more when I watch this amazing man who was born sans arms and legs.  These people are a gift to us and to just watch him speak with such passion and certainty is sobering.  Get inspired - click here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE

Gourmet Meal for One? Wine Not?

Fresh Leaves with ground beets, petite tomatoes, tuna, homemade guacamole, goat cheese, and walnuts

I've been on my own most of my life but having been a teacher for a lot of it I didn't always have the cash to dine the way a princess deserves to dine.  But, my tastes are definitely up there.  So, what's a gal to do?  I tell you what she does:  she starts cooking, creating, listening to music while the inspiration builds, sips wine throughout the process, thinks about how great her body will feel once these nutrients take effect, makes sure that the flavors match, plates it beautifully, and then dines. 

I have a friend who has never lived alone.  When I let her know that I am cooking up a feast for myself of halibut stuffed with a combination of carrots, celery, butter, garlic, and breadcrumbs with a side of whipped yams she wonders if I am sane, stating, " How can you cook for yourself?"  If not me, then who?  Let's face it, I love myself more than I love anyone else.  So, why wouldn't I then feed myself such delectables?  Why would I have to wait for company to put together an epicurean feast?  That's right: no reason. 

So, there's my bit on caring for ourselves.  And if caring means running an aromatherapy bath, pouring a glass of wine, grabbing a gourmet chocolate bar with a great book, and then jumping in and melting the day away - then so be it.  Who said we couldn't have as much fun when alone?  Why do we feel like we are wasting time if we are focusing on pampering ourselves?  Yes, love others.  Yes, make the calls and set up plans and help out your friends and neighbours, but you really can't do it fully charged unless you care for yourself first.

Oh, and while I was slowly savoring my salad last night, I was smiling. 

Do What you Love - Pro Bono!

Grappling with my life's purpose and manifesting a life where I'll be happy and make money has been running through my mind lately. I mean, I absolutely loved and was charged up by being a Drama teacher but now, alas, the thrill is gone. So, I wonder if I will find a job that brings in the money I wish to bring in - aka: A FUCK OF A LOT, and love it too.

Last night, Housewives were all repeats so I was searching for something to watch. I went to Ted.com and looked up, you guessed it: Happy. And, then I found this guy, Gary Vaynerchuk, who pushes the audience, no holds barred, into finding their passion and doing it. The thing that really stuck was that you don't do what you love to make money - you do something else, during the day to make money, and then you do this thing that really excites you after the money is made. I love it. That is what I am doing with this Blog.

I love writing and helping people. In fact, one of my ex-students, whom I really did not know I was effecting at all, Facebooked me in gratitude for all of the wise words I spouted (didn't know he could hear through all that hair), and how they resonate with him today and are helping him. He even found Yoga through me. Fantastic! That is what makes me tick. That is my reason for existence. Alleviating some degree of uncertainty, unhappiness, or stress from those I love, and strangers too, makes my heart swell. I do love myself so I want to give myself an increasing amount of those heart swelling moments and I will, with this here blog.

Coming Soon: Ask Jodi! Move aside Dear Abbie - there's a new kid in town!

Now - Click here to watch Gary spew his appeal for your happiness!

http://www.ted.com/talks/gary_vaynerchuk_do_what_you_love_no_excuses.html

Just say YES!

I rarely let the word No escape from my mouth
Because it is so plain to my soul
That God has shouted, Yes! Yes! Yes!
To every luminous movement in Existence
- Hafiz

Yes is the Breath of Creation, or so I read in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book: The Power of Intention. And so, with that, I say yes to everything - and even when I say no, I don't use the no word, instead I say Oh, well, while pleasuring you in front of this here camera does sound tempting, how about we play Peenuckle instead? See the spin? So positive it may just make you wanna gag (pun intended). But really, there is something to this Yes thing. Coming from a family of no speakers, I got my work cut out for me.

My family precedes every sentence with "no". Like, if I say, Oh, look, you bought another new car! One of the sisters might say, No, I just traded it in. I don't get it. Yes, you bought a new car. Do you like it? I may ask. To which the reply would come out as, No, it's fine - but a car doesn't really excite me all that much. Okay. When do you allow the Yes to emerge? The Yes to admit, hey, yeah, it did make me happy. Yes, I bought yet another new car. Isn't that fun? Dangit, that no-habit has always grated on my nerves.

So, what is the solution. Eliminate No from your vocabulary. I know (ha) that's not possible, but just think Fuck Yes! more. See what transpires. Will the universe provide a lot of serendipitous moments? Or will you just feel a bit more buoyant? Whatever it is, give it a thought. Now, know this: the only reason I am writing all of this stuff is because I am in a situation which can be construed as a No situation, one of lack, but instead, am doing whatever it friggin' takes to make it a Yes one. This Yes stuff has been offering me tons of positive happenings where moment to moment - the knowledge that everything will be all right, and that it is all right, right now, prevails.

So, I just finished teaching ESL yesterday. Now, I must start a new job (sales), make a sale within two weeks, find a place to live in that I can afford, in a friendly area with a yard for Bogie (my main squeeze), get my stuff shipped here from Montreal, make more money and mo' money to pay off my yucky debt, find my soul mate who will be hot and established and non-commitment phobic, and make all of Vancouver Smile. I could feel the weight of it pushing me down, but instead of being all heavy, I choose buoyancy with my new mantra: YES!!!!!!!!!!

Small Talk = Smile Talk

Okay, I must confess something. Although I go on and on about smiling and being friendly and loving your neighbor and all of that, I have a problem: I abhor small talk. Answering inane questions like: "So what did you do to cool off this weekend?" or "So, what do you do?" or "It's flea season you know". This fake smile, yes, fake, plasters itself across my face and I just mumble some semblance of a response. I am so bad at this. This, I confess, is why I write this blog.

If I am truly to love my neighbor and to be the Ambassador for Smiling in Vancouver then I have to see past people's social snooze inducing small talk to the point: they are being friendly. But, that said, if it was a hot guy or a cool looking chick then I would not even hear the minutia being spouted but would engage with energy. Perhaps I judge the people that attempt to converse with me a tad too harshly. If I am to spread the love then I have to love everyone. That,my friends, is the biggest challenge of all.

Please, if you have any words of advice regarding small talk and truly giving everyone a chance, and opening myself to loving them, then please, I welcome your wisdom with open ears. Just don't ask me what the weather forecast is. Thanks and smiles to you.

The Ego Blaster - Now is the Time!

I am struggling with what to write. Not wanting to lose the momentum, I've got to write something. So, in reading a Kabbalistic interpretation of the month of Virgo - the fall season - the approaching Jewish New Year, I am... well, I'm still struggling. I don't want to write nothing - I mean I've got tons to say, but I also don't want to be all preachy, which I can be from time to time. So, how do I make this pop? How do I send words out there that resonate with you? Answer: Just do it.

The month of Virgo is one where you have to take an honest look at yourself from within - deep enough to be able to look out at your ego (your personality, which is changeable if you didn't know), and see how you really handled life this past year. Did you piss people off? Yes. Did you revert to old reactions and take many,many steps back in your growth? Yes. Were you unkind to yourself when you looked in the mirror or whenever you saw a happy couple and wondered if you were ever deserving of such love and comfort? Yes and yes. Now then, time to heal.

How's about we forgive ourselves for treating others like shit first. Don't let the ego interject with: But they totally deserved it - I had to lash out at them and let them know that they were assholes! You didn't. Or, but life is so tough for you. It's not tough for them, or them, or them. You deserve to drink a lot, or eat a half ton of Callebault chocolate, or read trashy novels about Gwenevere and her Tarzanesque young lover. Fiction. Let it all go. Breathe. Shed the old - let the leaves fall - cleanse. It is a time to make resolutions. Achievable ones.

So, now, on our road to happiness we must do some work. It can come if you are clueless and just happy with everything - but chances are that if you are you probably sport a helmet and suspenders (I know, I know - that side just has to come out - it's funny,right?). For the rest of us, it's work. See the real you - love and let go of the parts of yourself that you are not particularly proud of, and then abolish the ego and reach out to people who have slighted you and yes, forgive them too. Result: your heart will open and the light will fill it up - and guess what? You will feel much lighter, much happier, and will...yes, you guessed it: Smile, Smile, SMILE!

"HI " does not a Conversation make

I wonder what it is that makes Vancouverites (some, not all) so damn repressed and inside themselves that they can't quite grasp the concept of engaging repartee. Maybe it's that when it's beautiful, and you look at the mountains, you realize how small you are, and then go inside yourself. Or, maybe it's that when the rains come, you cover up, cowering under its weight, and once again, go inside yourself. Don't know. But, here's a way to open up and be a vibrant part of the social world here:

When someone says, "hi" you:

- say, "hi" followed by a "how ya doin'?"
- say, "great, I was just thinking about how little I know about you..."
- say, "wonderful! Just got laid... you?"

Whatever you say, there has got to be some Give and Take! If someone asks you what you do and then you go into this long Edith like diatribe about your recent career change and how you are really educated but way too overqualified and that's why nobody will hire you and how you have found yourself at a crossroads in your life but thank God for your wonderful friends and yoga - hey! wait a minute. That's me. Okay, so point is, that after the long-winded response, you must, must, must ask (yes, even if you don't give a shit), "and what do you do?" Because I guarantee that you will walk away knowing a bit more about the ins and outs of wedge bolts that you would have never known had you not asked the reciprocal question.

People! Let's learn from each other. Let's step out of our caterpillar shells into the freaky butterflies we all know we are cause, and get this: We all believe that we are secretly insane. So much in common! Ask questions. Get talking. Laugh. And smile smile smile!

Swept off My Feet! Literally.

By a dog. Yes, you heard it. A dog, my friend's dog Charlie, was running full speed with Bogie, and lifted me straight up off my feet. Literally. I flew up and came crashing down on my side, in the dirt. Guess what? I didn't freak out. Like Johnson's Baby Shampoo - There were no tears. In fact, I felt quite spry. A canine chiropractic adjustment - it took years off my life, and the cost: free!

You see? That's how it's done. One need not be flattened by the lift us off our feet scenarios but can step back, take a breath, and ask: how can this be good for me? The more difficult it is to ask that question, the more there is to learn and benefit from the scenario. So, so difficult but the payoff - better than you could ever imagine. But do imagine it. Imagine it now - while in the shit. Know that you are only given what you can handle, and that if handled with care, you will grow IN just a little bit right now to become just a tad more resilient and yes, dare I say, happy.

Finding the laugh in any given situation is always a way to the light of it. And, guess what's happening when you are laughing? Yes! You are so brilliant! You are SMILING!!

Stop Thinking. Take Action.

So many of us wait to be happy throughout the day. We make deals with ourselves: when I eat lunch, I'll be happy; When the laundry is done, I'll be happy; When I lose weight, I'll be happy; When I get a boyfriend, I'll be happy; When I make more money, I'll be happy. Yeesh! Depressing.

I say, stop thinking and making these deals, take action now and just be happy. I know, I know... but life sucks. Well, it can if you think it so or it doesn't have to. Take me, for example, when I feel down I simply down a fifth of scotch. So totally kidding. It's red wine. But anyways, all of our life's problems can be rectified with this simple Stop Thinking, Take Action game plan.

When confronted with what appears to be a large bulk of work, a crazy ass deadline, or a personal goal to attain then simply stop thinking and spouting, "I really should lose these three hundred and fifty extra pounds..." and get a piece of paper and break down the actions that need to happen, and the time line that you will need to follow in order to get it done. Then, and get this, cause this is the tricky part, follow your friggin' plan like that boss part of you is the meanest mf'r that was and perform each action on time. Guess what happens? You reach your goal and it just wasn't nearly as hard as you thought it would be.

It's about little actions that lead to the whole goal. It's about finding space within your life where you know that you are following your boss' rules and so now you can relax, and yes, oh, wait for it... wait for it... SMILE!!

BETTER THAN BOTOX? !!

Test: Look at yourself in a mirror. Now, turn the light on. Okay, ready? Don't smile. See all those lines, and droopy skin, and indentations? Okay, now smile. What do you see? Uh huh. Miraculous. Cost: Nothing. Benefit: Increased Self-Esteem. Bonus Benefit: Happiness.

Olympic Fakers - Bring it on Back!

Guess what? Vancouver's a super friendly place! It is. According to all of the people who visited our little shangrila during the Olympics. Flags were flyin', red shirts were being a worn, music was playin' in the streets, and the People Were SMILING! Yes! For two whole weeks, Vancouver's residents put aside their silent scowls and woke up smiling. Ahhhh, life was great back then. I say, where are you now??? Come on back! Imagine that now we're in the Life Olympics and that those who win the gold medal are the ones who decide daily, that no matter what happens, they will find a reason to be grateful, happy, and yes, friendly to all.

Naysayers - Crack one Already!!

Oh, Vancouver, with your "you're not allowed to do this" and "don't do that" and "these are the rules, we don't really know why, nor can we answer you, but we will act like the rules makes sense, and will back them, but cannot have a conversation with you about them because authentic dialogue where rational explanations are expressed scares us!" OH JCC Volunteers - y'old cotton heads! God love you. So, so intimidated when questioned about the THREE rows of roped off area for "VIP's" so they said, or "Latecomers!" when I expressed, "So, we get penalized for being on time and don't get a seat when we paid for them?" to which the young girl in charge flung past me and ripped the protective barrier from those VIP seats! Nary a Smile was seen on this night where lovely swing music played. Nor were heads a bobbin'. The musicians actually made comments. Oh, Musicfest goers, Norman Rothstein patrons, LIGHTEN UP! But, that said, I did have fun with my Yogi pal Lans, and managed to spread the love throughout the evening regardless of the atmosphere.

A Monday Morning Smile... what?

Yes, it is true. After a pretty uneventful, yet happy, nonetheless, evening of healthy eating and tv and laughter I have awoken inspired! Today I meet a new group of students from other countries to whom I must teach our lovely language. Two more weeks of this and then I am done. Smiling today while students stare at me blank faced and sleepy will be my day's most difficult smile challenge. But, after starting this site, and having a gazillion ideas on how it will take off, I am more than the moment. And in that moment, where a kid is practically drooling while gazing at me with utter incomprehension, I will remember that my life is not really about this specific moment but about where I am heading - what future moments will bring me and in those moments I will be doing more of what inspires me. The challenge is to get a hold of my reactions, observe them without becoming them, and then smile with knowledge that it is about what I give to others - and so, right then and there, I will turn up my patience dial and will be kind and loving to this child. Smile on Monday! Smile on!

I wanna live the Good Life without paying the Big Price! HELP ME!

Yes, it is true. After a tumultuous year where I barely had my own place for more than two months I am ready to commit to Vancouver. Oh, Vancouver... why must you be so expensive? Beauty costs I guess.

All right, if anyone out there knows of a great two or three bedroom with a yard near Main street I'd like to hear about it. Or, if someone would like to live with me then we can live large and pay less. Let's live the good life without paying the big price!


Must have loads of light because come November with its three-thirty pm darkness I will need some kind of luminescence coming in through large windows creating the illusion of daytime.

The First Lesson in Building a Friendlier Vancouver

It’s good to smile.  When I was a waitress, in my twenties, I often showed up to work in a less than fantastic mood.  I’d even have to work whilst going through serious heartache.  But, I knew that if I didn’t smile then I wouldn’t make any tips. So, I would smile – albeit a fake one at first, but then eventually it became real. You see, studies have shown that your body can trick your mind into believing.  In this case, the smile tricked me into believing I was happy.  And, lo and behold, I’d actually become happy.  Great lesson.

So, I would like to propose this, my fellow Vancouverites:  start smiling!  Start by being a part of the world in which you travel day to day.  When outside, there are other members of your species.  By reaching out, past yourself, to a) notice them, and b) acknowledge their existence with a smile or a “hello”, you become happier.  You are playing a part in building community.  People start smiling back, then they become happy, then their smiles are genuine, then they pass on this genuine good heartedness to one another, and so on.  It is a win win, people.

Many single women, and there are many, complain that the men are not friendly. It’s not surprising that I’ve heard the same observation from single men. I myself have noticed with increased regularity a man’s unwillingness to even glance at a woman.  The woman is left feeling invisible.  So, she goes inside herself and does not put herself out there.  He is not smiling.  She is not smiling.  And, we all end up going home to our single lives feeling even lonelier.  A simple action plan involves a) noticing people and b) smiling at them.  It is not hard.  It does work to make a happier Vancouver.

When I pull over to be a kind driver and the other driver refuses to even glance at me and offer the little thank-you wave, or smile, I get angry.  I know I shouldn’t, but I do.  I mean, I pulled over for them.  I’m busy too.  But, I’ve learned that in my day to day life it is all about the moment and that in each moment I have a chance to connect – to connect to the land, to animals, or to people.  To give to others is to connect to them. I put in a great effort to connect because I know that such connections make me happy.  See? It’s not all that altruistic.  It is as simple as that.  But when I don’t get the perfunctory wave, I grow disheartened and think that maybe I should join’em rather than beat’em. But, I like a challenge.

So, I propose this:  we all want to be happy. Human beings need a few fundamentals: food and shelter and love.  It’s true.  The love can come from loving our fellow human beings, our neighbors, our bus mates, our store clerks.  It is not hard.  Look for the good in others. Take an extra thirty seconds to have a little chat with the cashier.  Complement someone on their shoes, or cool earrings.  If we get out of our bubbles with its “me first”  mentality, we will find that we have more full and thus, fulfilling lives.  It really is about the journey, the day to day, the minutia.  And all of those little bits make up a whole life – a life which can either be happy or meh.  No meh for me please.  So, I will continue to smile and to make people laugh and to flatter and to go beyond my comfort zone because at the end of the day, when I look in the mirror, I know that I did my part in trying to make Vancouver a funner city.  I know it’s not a word.  Made you smile!