It’s good to smile. When I was a waitress, in my twenties, I often showed up to work in a less than fantastic mood. I’d even have to work whilst going through serious heartache. But, I knew that if I didn’t smile then I wouldn’t make any tips. So, I would smile – albeit a fake one at first, but then eventually it became real. You see, studies have shown that your body can trick your mind into believing. In this case, the smile tricked me into believing I was happy. And, lo and behold, I’d actually become happy. Great lesson.
So, I would like to propose this, my fellow Vancouverites: start smiling! Start by being a part of the world in which you travel day to day. When outside, there are other members of your species. By reaching out, past yourself, to a) notice them, and b) acknowledge their existence with a smile or a “hello”, you become happier. You are playing a part in building community. People start smiling back, then they become happy, then their smiles are genuine, then they pass on this genuine good heartedness to one another, and so on. It is a win win, people.
Many single women, and there are many, complain that the men are not friendly. It’s not surprising that I’ve heard the same observation from single men. I myself have noticed with increased regularity a man’s unwillingness to even glance at a woman. The woman is left feeling invisible. So, she goes inside herself and does not put herself out there. He is not smiling. She is not smiling. And, we all end up going home to our single lives feeling even lonelier. A simple action plan involves a) noticing people and b) smiling at them. It is not hard. It does work to make a happier Vancouver
When I pull over to be a kind driver and the other driver refuses to even glance at me and offer the little thank-you wave, or smile, I get angry. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I mean, I pulled over for them. I’m busy too. But, I’ve learned that in my day to day life it is all about the moment and that in each moment I have a chance to connect – to connect to the land, to animals, or to people. To give to others is to connect to them. I put in a great effort to connect because I know that such connections make me happy. See? It’s not all that altruistic. It is as simple as that. But when I don’t get the perfunctory wave, I grow disheartened and think that maybe I should join’em rather than beat’em. But, I like a challenge.
So, I propose this: we all want to be happy. Human beings need a few fundamentals: food and shelter and love. It’s true. The love can come from loving our fellow human beings, our neighbors, our bus mates, our store clerks. It is not hard. Look for the good in others. Take an extra thirty seconds to have a little chat with the cashier. Complement someone on their shoes, or cool earrings. If we get out of our bubbles with its “me first” mentality, we will find that we have more full and thus, fulfilling lives. It really is about the journey, the day to day, the minutia. And all of those little bits make up a whole life – a life which can either be happy or meh. No meh for me please. So, I will continue to smile and to make people laugh and to flatter and to go beyond my comfort zone because at the end of the day, when I look in the mirror, I know that I did my part in trying to make Vancouver
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