September is a time of beginning and change - not just for the Jewish people who celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, but for everyone. The days get shorter, the leaves are changing colors, and we become more introspective as we look at life more on the inside, than the out. Yes, fall is a time to fall back into old patterns of cocooning, slurping comfort foods, and watching our favorite, albeit guilty pleasure, TV shows. At least that's how I see it. But, when I went to meet with Rabbi Shmuli the other night to discuss the Kabbalastic interpretation of the Jewish New Year I saw this time of change a bit more profoundly.
Our lives can be broken down into the kinds of times we are having: depressing, productive, and holy. In order to feel more fulfilled, and have more control, on a daily basis we must find a way to steer ourselves more lucidly. So, a plan was set in motion thousands of years ago whereby every new moon, or Rosh Chodesh, was marked as the head of the month. And, as the head of the month, we have to go inside our heads, set our goals for the month ahead (p the p), and remind ourselves upon awakening daily of the goals - or our own MISSION STATEMENT for the month. But, now, at this time of year, we have an even greater opportunity to set our heads straight and must create our year's mission statement.
At the head of the day - or the first two minutes of every day, take the time to meditate on your month's mission statement (which, of course, coincides with the year's one). Believe that you will overcome adversity so that you will not fall into old patterns of self-effacing thoughts, of victim emotions, and of external pressure (as in all the people you confront on a daily basis). While it is not easy - it is even harder without the day's mission statement starting you off, revving your motor.
For those of us who partake in the Jewish New Year (and, for the record, I think everyone should!), I have some new Apple mit honey meaning for you from the Shmulimeister. He said that the apple is like our ordinary life - some apples are sweet, some are sour, some are in between. The apple represents the ordinary times of our lives. Then there's the honey - the honey is sweet yet comes from a bee who stings... hmmm. So, out of something painful like a sting can come the sweetest of gifts - honey. Get the metaphor? So, we take the apple, our ordinary times, and dip it in honey and whisper to ourselves: Please help me to find the sweet in the tough times I will encounter this year.
I will do just that when I sit around my chosen family's Rosh Hashanah dinner table - and, chances are, I will give a little speech (I so love speaking!). And, it's not easy lately for me to be happy. Yesterday was a pretty negative day and I dipped down into fear and depression and saw myself as less than I am or could be. I'm working for this company Debit Credit Canada offering people the best possible rates on credit card processing for their business. Only everyone promises the same thing but not everyone is an independent broker. Nor does anyone offer a chance for us to analyze their reports and to save them money without any cost. All the same it's a tough sale. There's also an altruistic component to the business called the Chai Advantage but convincing my fellow Jews that there is no catch, they can save money and give to charity, is friggin' challenging. How'd we all get so cynical? Oh, I know - years of oppression blah blah blah.
So, yeah, doing the sales thing. Applying for every job on Craigslist: Roofer? Well, my grandfather had a roofing company - that counts as experience, right? Hand model? I have hands! At the same time I'm trying to spend nothing so that I can keep the pittance of cash in the bank for a deposit on a place that can't cost me all of the pittance. And, applying as a substitute teacher - when I worked full-time for ten years, and have a Masters degree. So, the poor me mentality is often taking over my positive mission statement, and personal drive. But, the sad thing is that no matter what I have to keep going - I gotta push so that I get settled. I'd like to be like the apple - have some ordinary times for a bit rather than this fucking struggle.
So, I began the day today with an epiphany and I will go with that. They are free, right? And, when I find myself treading downhill towards the Place of Lack I will just have to take a detour to the Place of Have and go over my talents, ultimate possibilities, and trust in the energy source of the universe. What I put out I eventually get back, right? Well, I'm ready!
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