When did an apology replace a salutation? The topic was broached (okay, I brought it up) at a party last night when my friend Cin came up with this post title (she wanted credit for it) and a discussion ensued.
Lately, and for a while now, I've been hearing people utter sorry for nothing that requires an apology. Scenario one: someone walks in front of you, within your walls of proximity, and so, they say sorry. Two: A person, in a blindingly authentic moment bursts out laughing and immediately looks ashamed uttering sorry, looking around guiltily. Three: You are at a party and an attendee walks towards you and gets stuck for a second as there is a bit of a crowd and they can't pass, so naturally, you hear sorry followed by a quick and painful aversion of the eyes until you can finally break free from one other. Four: You step on someone's foot, and they say sorry!
Okay, now I understand etiquette, and showing respect but this is taking it too far. Sorry relinquishes us from any further communication with strangers. How about walking near someone, smiling, and saying hello as you step on their foot. Wouldn't that be a refreshing change? Or, let's bring the flirting back to this fair city - as in, you are at a crowded party, crash into someone (hot preferably), and offer a breathy hello, rather than sorry followed by a quick ear lick. Fantastic.
It's getting to the point that when people give me a sorry I say, "why? No need to be sorry. Please don't be sorry for your existence. No need to apologize." People look at me in terror only to utter another sorry for their first sorry. The word has lost all meaning and context. It's applied anywhere and everywhere merely to keep us apart. You see, a hello draws people together, a sorry deposits a giant chunk of ice in between two warm bodied people sending them scurrying in opposite directions. Plus, it dilutes the instances when you truly are sorry.
Like the time, this week, when I ran over someone's foot with my car whilst attempting a particularly harried parallel parking maneuver. Or, when the dog, my son, jumped on a lady dressed elegantly in white only to leave muddy skid marks in his wake. What about when I let someone know that they were being a real asshole - it goes something like this, "sorry, but you're a real asshole." Now, did I mean sorry in any of those circumstances? All except the asshole incident, yes.
So, now, how do we change our habits? I'm out there - living it, letting people know that they have nothing to be sorry about. That hello works just as well. That they deserve to be here as much as I and that they need not apologize for being around me, a complete stranger (who is getting increasingly strange). When we think about it, we have nothing to be sorry for. We're all trying to cohabitate - to get along. Inauthentic apologies will not help us but hellos will. We must stop pulling inside ourselves and escaping one another with a sorry and instead smile and say hello.
Anyways, sorry if I offended.
Just kidding.
No comments:
Post a Comment