My Very Own Mr. Miyagi!

My friend and I, both late 40's, started playing tennis.  It made sense to us - play outside while you can, meet people who will undoubtedly smile at us chasing balls, and get in shape.  And it is fun! The mind is working overtime, and that doesn't hurt either in our old age.  We must concentrate on what the hell we should be doing in order to friggin' hit that ball to each other.  It looks easier than it is.  That said, we've got potential. It helps that I'm a pretty good observer and don't mind watching players better than me (which is...um...everyone) and learning from them.

So, last night, dragging our asses after some forty-five minutes of playing or um, ball chasing, we notice an old Asian man playing by himself.  He's methodically lining up his balls (hey now! Respect!), hitting them to the other side, walking very Zenlike to the other side of the net, collecting said balls, and repeating the procedure.  I yelled to my partner, "Hey! He could be our very own Mr. Miyagi! Here's our chance to get a free lesson."  So, we started smiling at him and excusing ourselves when we had to run in front of him to collect our wayward balls when he took notice of us.

He told us that we were doing very well to which we pshawed and all of that.  But then he quickly advised us to get lessons pronto or else we'd develop bad habits that would be difficult to change. Hmmm.... like the drinking and chocolate consumption?  Sounds familiar.  So, we kind of asked him what he knew and he was thrilled.  He gave us great tips, made us practice, told us to aim the ball to him because he was too old to run far, and really knew what he was talking about.  Well, Mr. Miyagi he was because not only did he motivate me to improve my game but he inspired me in a more profound way.

Mr. Miyagi, or Chan, is 91 years old.  He teaches badminton and tennis to the old folks in the community center, has lived in this community for many years, and seems pretty happy (I mean, he must be, cause there he was, in the evening, alone, playing tennis).  He stated that he'd been playing tennis for a while so I imagined him playing as a kid.  Well, not so, as he let us know that he started ten years ago. My friend and I looked at each other - so... we've been making excuses for not running for the ball because we're so old to be starting this sport when Mr. Miyagi here started at 81.  Gulp.

Now, we're all smiling.  It works.  Get out there - before the rains come back, play outside like a silly kid, talk to strangers, learn from others, and attract smiles.  It's that easy.

Smiling Downs

As I recall, the last blog was full of sunshine and lollipops.

Well, as I sit here, in our lovely city, waiting for the sun to really cast its warm glow, I am well aware of the challenges we face.  Riding the waves - the ups, the downs, and the in betweens, I know how difficult it is to look outside myself to smile at passersby.

But, as I recall, when things are their toughest, is the time to step outside yourself and smile, give, and push the generosity card.  I've been in a state of LACK for the past while now.  One where I focus on what I don't have, rather than what I do have.  No matter how much I pontificate about  Vancouver and how crucial it is that we smile at our neighbours, I look at the homeless pair sitting across from my home, in the park, and fail to be welcoming.  Is it me?  Okay, bad example, but still...

My pal, who was kind enough to take me out last night, said that the best way out of lack is through giving.  So, that is my new way.  I will give till it hurts.  I will socialize, listen to others talk about how difficult it was finding those designer jeans or decorating their new home, and I will care.  I'll really, really care.  My mind will not drift to thoughts of "can I afford a good cheese this week?" or "am I going to be single for the rest of my life?"  Instead I will really take an interest.  Through giving I will get.  So selfish really,

So, as the sun fails to shine, as I'm chilled in my kitchen with a definite lack of motivation regarding work, as I look down at my toes reminded of a drastic pedicure need, as I notice dust bunnies forming mouths in which to speak to me, I will find a way to smile. First at others, then at myself.

It's just got to be.  Things will turn around.  Life will improve.  There is no lack - only love.  I have LOVE!  My time will come. 

I feel like Stuart Smiley. 

LOCATION TIMING LOCATION TIMING LOCATION

Okay, so this time I've got the best reason for not writing: any free time I have will heretofore be spent with my new boyfriend coming up with all crazy shit.  We should be writing it down but we're not...yet.  Stay tuned for a dual effort of creative genius and rantings beyond your wildest dream.

Too much?

Okay so this whole blog is(was) about trying to get Vancouverites to smile more.  On where I have free reign (cause nobody can stop me, I mean, I'm here, alone, writing, tough shit, too bad for Jew) to criticize all I'm witnessing. But lately, and here's the rub (literally), I've got nothing to complain about.  I should just log off this thing once and for all and, I swear, if I weren't so narcissistic I probably would.

Anywhooooooo,

All along it was me, hanging within myself, self-deprecating shit, hanging on to faint traces of optimistism to make it to the next day, and walking the streets with dog looking for some hint of hope.  So, looking, with such vehemence, can turn people off. But I did all right and all of it, all of it brought me here.  Awesome.  Sure I lack motivation to work or do anything other than have fun but that ain't so bad. Motivation's overrated.  Okay, back to it - so I was projecting what I could when I could and getting back what I put out. Got it.  So textbook.

Now, because I am connected and increasingly connecting to said man (or moy - man-boy - from here on in to be referred to as Moishe) I am not looking towards others for happiness.  I am happy.  Like really fucking happy.  Right now.  Now, I know that tomorrow or the next day I may not be as happy as I am right now but maybe I will. This time I have a chance at continual happiness.  I can't go wrong: best lovin' ever coupled with friggin' awesome conversation and laughter.  Pulllleaaaase. 

This isn't luck - I truly deserve this.  I know it's new but it feels different...human, raw, committed.  We'll see - says the side of me whose always been disappointed.  But it's okay to listen to her a bit because yes, we'll see, and as Mags says, if you wanna see the person the next day you'll continue to see them.  So, that's where I will place it and will continue to open my heart and observe myself in such a state of bliss.  Guess everyone else can see it too.  Nice.  That should get'em smiling. 

Oh, and one more thing - and the point of the title of this post is that I moved to the east - to wonderful Commercial Drive, where I've already made friends and there's a dog park across the bloody street.  People smile more readily over here. So you see, the lack of Vancouver smiles was about location and my personal happiness.  Now that I'm in a relationship and living in a hip area people are, wait for it, smiling more.

How lucky is that? 

WEATHER TO SMILE

It has, once again, been a bit of a while since I felt like pontificating about my quest to get Vancouverites smiling.  When walking the dog in the wee hours of the morning's darkness I can't blame people for not even glancing my way - as I don't necessarily feel like chatting, or offering a clever quip, much less smiling. 

Then the sun starts to shine, I'm noticing blooms on the trees, and am caught stating, to my dog, "Look Bogie, there are buds!" or "Hey Bogie, you smell the flowers?" And I wonder why people turn away.  But, you see, the difference is that Bogie smiles back - at least it looks like a smile, with a bit of drool - so charming.  Then the rains come again, I sink into a gloomy mood, and stop smiling, even at Bogie.

Suddenly it's winter again - snow is on the ground, people are throwing it in the air (okay, the "people" I'm referring to is me, but still), and "hellos" are being offered willy nilly.  The clouds open and water pours from the sky and once again we forget about one another.  Now, it's icy,  and slushy, and I'm realizing how this whole post is about the weather.

Weather really does affect our mood. I'm not offering a cutting edge theory here, but as I live it, here in Vancouver, it becomes ever more apparent.  As opposed to living in Florida where everybody ambled around in their sand encrusted sandals with goofy smiles on their faces.  What's more important, being friendly or intelligent? Is it possible to have both? 

I think so.  Look at me. Okay, don't look at me - but look at my friends; they're pretty smart and are quick to offer a "hello" to the passersby.  Regardless of IQ it's important to keep it going, flowing, whatever the weather.  Guess whose getting the lesson here?  Moi.

A %$#*?(^ MOMENT!

I hate to use this term, cause I abhor it, but I just had a real "AHA Moment!"  I did.  But, wait a minute, now I lost it.  No! There it is. Okay, so, I am realizing (and I warn you here, it may get personal) that I am growing harder and harder in sales, more and more pushy, trying to attain a goal rather than really be in the moment with people, and that I need to soften way up.  It came to me: I already have it.  There lies the mantra - won't be the first time you've heard it, I'm sure.

Walking into a sales' call, or a date  (or, as I like to call'em "future husband/partner man" interview) I must believe that I already have that which I seek.  It's hard cause I'm feeling loads of angst about not having money and nearly enough men, and feeling like I should be doing more.  Strategizing constantly for both things.  How about if I continue thinking about ways in which to offer more opportunity for both, but do so in a softer manner?  But, you see, I don't just soften cause I should - I need something more.  That's where the AHA lies.

I am going to start to live my life knowing, as I have known in the past, that I get what I need, and that I already have that which I wish for.  Because it hasn't materialized yet, I doubt its existence and possibility.  But, it is already there.  I don't have to wait to be happy; I can be happy now.  It's all true! Those self-help manifestation things - they work! To live as if you have all you want means quitting fucking complaining - firstly, in your head, sick of those thoughts, then to others. That's it.  The Rain will Not GET ME DOWN!  I have all I wish for.

Including whomever dares to waste time reading this.

ELEVEN IS THE NEW TEN

 Oh Vancouver - even though the holidays are over and you are trying to get back to "real life" please do not lose the holiday cheer.  Oh, the holidays, such fun:  People were smiling, chatting, laughing - sure, they were also drinking, but I'll take it.  There were dinner parties, drinks with appys, walks in the woods, and a stunning day of skiing on the last day of 2010 followed by wine by the fire to begin the New Years festivities.  Just prrrrrrrfect.  And now, life really begins. Oh 11, I like you so much better than 10.

 About the new year and the pressure we put on ourselves - stop it.  We change numbers and along with it comes this intense need to deny ourselves any of life's decadent luxuries.  Come on.  If you didn't do it before the new year, why now?  Then, you know what will happen?  You will go back to your old ways - of, oh I don't know, licking melted chocolate (Toblerone) out of a big bowl, or methodically getting through a bottle of vino whilst watching Real Housewives. Oh guilt. Self-hatred will permeate as you, yes, stop smiling. And, what happened to our social climate of good will to all? Gone. 

So, I say, let yourselves live. Pretend we are in Italy, or France where it's okay to knock back a bottle of Proseco at lunch. Or to munch away on the baguette you carry home to go with your cream based pasta dish. Do we dare?  How about continuing to smile at one another and making conversation. Sure, we don't have the holidays to discuss - such pithy conversation starters like, "so, get all your shopping done?" but still, maybe we can come up with something new to get us started like, "so, how are the resolutions coming along?" Then again... that might not work.  Just get creative with it!

I am going to propose this.  Life is a holiday.  Slow down the mind (not hard for me) and the rest will follow.  Roses and coffee will be smelled, majestic views will be gawked at, and people will take that extra fifteen seconds, if that, to allow for a little social interaction.  Is it really so hard?  Try this as a resolution - flatter someone you don't know.  Look at the greeter at The Gap and say, "hey, I like your feather earrings!" and you will be pleasantly surprised with the results. Bet you'll catch yourself whistling.  

Now that's the kind of resolution I can get behind. 

Happy 2011 - Resolutions be gone! Let the Cheer live on!

WRITING FOR CHANGE

I have been a tad negligent with this blog as I have been spending upwards of four hours a day writing two scripts which I will direct in January. The topic is cyberbullying and the students I'm working with are from a local high school.  The plays will be touring elementary and highschools - to evoke awareness, responsibility, and change regarding young people's practices online. Okay, I've been partying a lot too.  You got me.

As is my nature, spreading the good cheer has been one of my top priorities this holiday season.  Wine and cheese and cheese and wine and gourmet meals and long dog walks and visits with lovely friends...oh holidays, I love you so!  On a day like today, when it is mild outside, the mountains are showing off their snowy peaks, and I have time to write and reflect, I am truly happy.  Nothing to gripe about today. Not even the asshole who cut me off and then had the audacity to give me the finger!  Okay, I totally made that up for laughs. See? Spreading the cheer on thick my friends.

But, and I am ashamed to admit it, you know what doesn't make me smile?  Hearing about people heading down south for sun, sea, and slurpies.  No sir.  I wish I was that giving but while trudging around in my less than feminine waterproof hiking boots in the rainy darkness I picture those "friends" basking in the sunshine laughing laughing laughing as they reflect on how darn cold they were last week back home.  No.  Such tales of warmth and camaraderie do not make me smile.  But I do fake it.  Who doesn't these days?

All the same, sitting here, all cozy, with dog lying nearby, I write and write and write with the knowledge that what I am putting out there can and will hopefully change a few lives, empower some young people, and create awareness amongst the adults about what the youngster's are up to right under our noses.  The work is important and I love the creative process. That's why I keep writing this silly thing, as well.  Who knows?  Miracles can happen, right? Like when Oprah, and her new network "OWN The World" sees it and decides to give me one of her favorite things: a shitload of money!  Yup, that's my goal here people.  Not altruistic at all.  The only self I'm helping is me - and I'm thinking money. 

Speaking of money - or money shot, I have a funny tale of truth and espionage. Okay, totally no espionage but I liked the sound of it.  So, we (as in my wonderful friend and I) made a dinner party for a friend who is celebrating a year separated from his wife who was a skanky ho who slept with his best friend, or something. Maggie manifested a meal of epicurian standards.  After twelve bottles of wine  (do everything in dozens I say) one of our guests (a veritable stranger) came out of the bathroom naked as a jaybird exclaiming, "now this is unexpected!"  What a crowd pleaser!  The laughter, the yelling, the "hm, is that all there is?" that transpired after his enveiling really made the dinner party.  Oh people, wish you could have been there.

So, with that I return to my scriptwriting, and ponder upcoming New Year's Eve when I go to a party at the home of one of the dinner party guests (a new friend) and attempt to consume a neat dozen bottles of the champs myself - okay, maybe the small, cute bottles.  Anyways, happy holidays to all and take the time to say "yes" to something you never have time for.  Smile at people and dare to let a little funny quip pop out so that you will enjoy the smirks and laughter that follows.  And, at the very least, give a great big thanks that you are alive, and well, and full of love for yourself and those around you (and if you don't feel the love for them, then fake it my friends, fake it good!).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!