LOCATION TIMING LOCATION TIMING LOCATION

Okay, so this time I've got the best reason for not writing: any free time I have will heretofore be spent with my new boyfriend coming up with all crazy shit.  We should be writing it down but we're not...yet.  Stay tuned for a dual effort of creative genius and rantings beyond your wildest dream.

Too much?

Okay so this whole blog is(was) about trying to get Vancouverites to smile more.  On where I have free reign (cause nobody can stop me, I mean, I'm here, alone, writing, tough shit, too bad for Jew) to criticize all I'm witnessing. But lately, and here's the rub (literally), I've got nothing to complain about.  I should just log off this thing once and for all and, I swear, if I weren't so narcissistic I probably would.

Anywhooooooo,

All along it was me, hanging within myself, self-deprecating shit, hanging on to faint traces of optimistism to make it to the next day, and walking the streets with dog looking for some hint of hope.  So, looking, with such vehemence, can turn people off. But I did all right and all of it, all of it brought me here.  Awesome.  Sure I lack motivation to work or do anything other than have fun but that ain't so bad. Motivation's overrated.  Okay, back to it - so I was projecting what I could when I could and getting back what I put out. Got it.  So textbook.

Now, because I am connected and increasingly connecting to said man (or moy - man-boy - from here on in to be referred to as Moishe) I am not looking towards others for happiness.  I am happy.  Like really fucking happy.  Right now.  Now, I know that tomorrow or the next day I may not be as happy as I am right now but maybe I will. This time I have a chance at continual happiness.  I can't go wrong: best lovin' ever coupled with friggin' awesome conversation and laughter.  Pulllleaaaase. 

This isn't luck - I truly deserve this.  I know it's new but it feels different...human, raw, committed.  We'll see - says the side of me whose always been disappointed.  But it's okay to listen to her a bit because yes, we'll see, and as Mags says, if you wanna see the person the next day you'll continue to see them.  So, that's where I will place it and will continue to open my heart and observe myself in such a state of bliss.  Guess everyone else can see it too.  Nice.  That should get'em smiling. 

Oh, and one more thing - and the point of the title of this post is that I moved to the east - to wonderful Commercial Drive, where I've already made friends and there's a dog park across the bloody street.  People smile more readily over here. So you see, the lack of Vancouver smiles was about location and my personal happiness.  Now that I'm in a relationship and living in a hip area people are, wait for it, smiling more.

How lucky is that? 

WEATHER TO SMILE

It has, once again, been a bit of a while since I felt like pontificating about my quest to get Vancouverites smiling.  When walking the dog in the wee hours of the morning's darkness I can't blame people for not even glancing my way - as I don't necessarily feel like chatting, or offering a clever quip, much less smiling. 

Then the sun starts to shine, I'm noticing blooms on the trees, and am caught stating, to my dog, "Look Bogie, there are buds!" or "Hey Bogie, you smell the flowers?" And I wonder why people turn away.  But, you see, the difference is that Bogie smiles back - at least it looks like a smile, with a bit of drool - so charming.  Then the rains come again, I sink into a gloomy mood, and stop smiling, even at Bogie.

Suddenly it's winter again - snow is on the ground, people are throwing it in the air (okay, the "people" I'm referring to is me, but still), and "hellos" are being offered willy nilly.  The clouds open and water pours from the sky and once again we forget about one another.  Now, it's icy,  and slushy, and I'm realizing how this whole post is about the weather.

Weather really does affect our mood. I'm not offering a cutting edge theory here, but as I live it, here in Vancouver, it becomes ever more apparent.  As opposed to living in Florida where everybody ambled around in their sand encrusted sandals with goofy smiles on their faces.  What's more important, being friendly or intelligent? Is it possible to have both? 

I think so.  Look at me. Okay, don't look at me - but look at my friends; they're pretty smart and are quick to offer a "hello" to the passersby.  Regardless of IQ it's important to keep it going, flowing, whatever the weather.  Guess whose getting the lesson here?  Moi.

A %$#*?(^ MOMENT!

I hate to use this term, cause I abhor it, but I just had a real "AHA Moment!"  I did.  But, wait a minute, now I lost it.  No! There it is. Okay, so, I am realizing (and I warn you here, it may get personal) that I am growing harder and harder in sales, more and more pushy, trying to attain a goal rather than really be in the moment with people, and that I need to soften way up.  It came to me: I already have it.  There lies the mantra - won't be the first time you've heard it, I'm sure.

Walking into a sales' call, or a date  (or, as I like to call'em "future husband/partner man" interview) I must believe that I already have that which I seek.  It's hard cause I'm feeling loads of angst about not having money and nearly enough men, and feeling like I should be doing more.  Strategizing constantly for both things.  How about if I continue thinking about ways in which to offer more opportunity for both, but do so in a softer manner?  But, you see, I don't just soften cause I should - I need something more.  That's where the AHA lies.

I am going to start to live my life knowing, as I have known in the past, that I get what I need, and that I already have that which I wish for.  Because it hasn't materialized yet, I doubt its existence and possibility.  But, it is already there.  I don't have to wait to be happy; I can be happy now.  It's all true! Those self-help manifestation things - they work! To live as if you have all you want means quitting fucking complaining - firstly, in your head, sick of those thoughts, then to others. That's it.  The Rain will Not GET ME DOWN!  I have all I wish for.

Including whomever dares to waste time reading this.

ELEVEN IS THE NEW TEN

 Oh Vancouver - even though the holidays are over and you are trying to get back to "real life" please do not lose the holiday cheer.  Oh, the holidays, such fun:  People were smiling, chatting, laughing - sure, they were also drinking, but I'll take it.  There were dinner parties, drinks with appys, walks in the woods, and a stunning day of skiing on the last day of 2010 followed by wine by the fire to begin the New Years festivities.  Just prrrrrrrfect.  And now, life really begins. Oh 11, I like you so much better than 10.

 About the new year and the pressure we put on ourselves - stop it.  We change numbers and along with it comes this intense need to deny ourselves any of life's decadent luxuries.  Come on.  If you didn't do it before the new year, why now?  Then, you know what will happen?  You will go back to your old ways - of, oh I don't know, licking melted chocolate (Toblerone) out of a big bowl, or methodically getting through a bottle of vino whilst watching Real Housewives. Oh guilt. Self-hatred will permeate as you, yes, stop smiling. And, what happened to our social climate of good will to all? Gone. 

So, I say, let yourselves live. Pretend we are in Italy, or France where it's okay to knock back a bottle of Proseco at lunch. Or to munch away on the baguette you carry home to go with your cream based pasta dish. Do we dare?  How about continuing to smile at one another and making conversation. Sure, we don't have the holidays to discuss - such pithy conversation starters like, "so, get all your shopping done?" but still, maybe we can come up with something new to get us started like, "so, how are the resolutions coming along?" Then again... that might not work.  Just get creative with it!

I am going to propose this.  Life is a holiday.  Slow down the mind (not hard for me) and the rest will follow.  Roses and coffee will be smelled, majestic views will be gawked at, and people will take that extra fifteen seconds, if that, to allow for a little social interaction.  Is it really so hard?  Try this as a resolution - flatter someone you don't know.  Look at the greeter at The Gap and say, "hey, I like your feather earrings!" and you will be pleasantly surprised with the results. Bet you'll catch yourself whistling.  

Now that's the kind of resolution I can get behind. 

Happy 2011 - Resolutions be gone! Let the Cheer live on!

WRITING FOR CHANGE

I have been a tad negligent with this blog as I have been spending upwards of four hours a day writing two scripts which I will direct in January. The topic is cyberbullying and the students I'm working with are from a local high school.  The plays will be touring elementary and highschools - to evoke awareness, responsibility, and change regarding young people's practices online. Okay, I've been partying a lot too.  You got me.

As is my nature, spreading the good cheer has been one of my top priorities this holiday season.  Wine and cheese and cheese and wine and gourmet meals and long dog walks and visits with lovely friends...oh holidays, I love you so!  On a day like today, when it is mild outside, the mountains are showing off their snowy peaks, and I have time to write and reflect, I am truly happy.  Nothing to gripe about today. Not even the asshole who cut me off and then had the audacity to give me the finger!  Okay, I totally made that up for laughs. See? Spreading the cheer on thick my friends.

But, and I am ashamed to admit it, you know what doesn't make me smile?  Hearing about people heading down south for sun, sea, and slurpies.  No sir.  I wish I was that giving but while trudging around in my less than feminine waterproof hiking boots in the rainy darkness I picture those "friends" basking in the sunshine laughing laughing laughing as they reflect on how darn cold they were last week back home.  No.  Such tales of warmth and camaraderie do not make me smile.  But I do fake it.  Who doesn't these days?

All the same, sitting here, all cozy, with dog lying nearby, I write and write and write with the knowledge that what I am putting out there can and will hopefully change a few lives, empower some young people, and create awareness amongst the adults about what the youngster's are up to right under our noses.  The work is important and I love the creative process. That's why I keep writing this silly thing, as well.  Who knows?  Miracles can happen, right? Like when Oprah, and her new network "OWN The World" sees it and decides to give me one of her favorite things: a shitload of money!  Yup, that's my goal here people.  Not altruistic at all.  The only self I'm helping is me - and I'm thinking money. 

Speaking of money - or money shot, I have a funny tale of truth and espionage. Okay, totally no espionage but I liked the sound of it.  So, we (as in my wonderful friend and I) made a dinner party for a friend who is celebrating a year separated from his wife who was a skanky ho who slept with his best friend, or something. Maggie manifested a meal of epicurian standards.  After twelve bottles of wine  (do everything in dozens I say) one of our guests (a veritable stranger) came out of the bathroom naked as a jaybird exclaiming, "now this is unexpected!"  What a crowd pleaser!  The laughter, the yelling, the "hm, is that all there is?" that transpired after his enveiling really made the dinner party.  Oh people, wish you could have been there.

So, with that I return to my scriptwriting, and ponder upcoming New Year's Eve when I go to a party at the home of one of the dinner party guests (a new friend) and attempt to consume a neat dozen bottles of the champs myself - okay, maybe the small, cute bottles.  Anyways, happy holidays to all and take the time to say "yes" to something you never have time for.  Smile at people and dare to let a little funny quip pop out so that you will enjoy the smirks and laughter that follows.  And, at the very least, give a great big thanks that you are alive, and well, and full of love for yourself and those around you (and if you don't feel the love for them, then fake it my friends, fake it good!).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THE JOLLY SEASON

 

I cannot contain myself - my heart is expanding, I feel good will towards all - even the non-smilers.  You see, after having been through the trenches, the heartache, the rudderless future, the lack of spirituality - I am on the other side.  How magnificent it is.  

Looking and finding, yes finding, the good, the learning, the reasoning behind my life and its varied directions and current path leaves me smiling. Once you scratch the bottom overcome by darkness, only to really see and feel certain about the Light (and I don't mean the one at the end of the proverbial tunnel) you wind up really, really grateful.  At least I do.  

I didn't know what would happen, what would become of me, at 45, upon arriving back to Vancouver with little cash and no home.  A summer job was waiting but after that, I did not know what I would do nor how I would get myself out of my money hole. Well, now, after six months, things are bearing fruit. I get to still be a drama teacher, part time, write two scripts against cyberbullying which will tour elementary and high schools, and remain in the business world through sales, as well as plan a really cool event for the district's drama students for February.  Wow - creativity and business - plus, sometimes, I can do a yoga class in the middle of the day - or sleep in.  This new life, in six short months, was created by me and was supported by my higher self - helping me to become the best I can be.  Awesome blossom.

I know that I've always bitched on this blog - bitched about how socially inept Vancouverites are.  My latest is: why are we so good at social networking, but shit at socializing?  That said, right now, the holiday season, living with my best friend (in photo) and her daughter, drinking Bailey's, eating Toblerone and good cheese, and laughing, laughing, laughing - I cannot bitch.  Daily I give thanks for this life. In every moment I am becoming more and more connected and absolutely certain.  All is as it should be.

But, being a preacher - um, teacher, I do have a message: when doing that last bit of Christmas shopping, take the time to hold the door for someone, smile at a passerby, and chit chat with the cashier. You are not in a rush - never too rushed to put a smile on people's faces, never.   Tis the season to be jolly - be jolly when it is difficult, and you earn extra points.  Reap the rewards.  Turn the dark into light. I did, and I wish that for all of you - my some 19 readers (small in number, large in heart).  

Much love y'all.

SORRY'S THE NEW HELLO

When did an apology replace a salutation? The topic was broached (okay, I brought it up) at a party last night when my friend Cin came up with this post title (she wanted credit for it) and a discussion ensued.

Lately, and for a while now, I've been hearing people utter sorry for nothing that requires an apology.  Scenario one:  someone walks in front of you, within your walls of proximity, and so, they say sorry.  Two:  A person, in a blindingly authentic moment  bursts out laughing and immediately looks ashamed uttering sorry, looking around guiltily. Three: You are at a party and an attendee walks towards you and gets stuck for a second as there is a bit of a crowd and they can't pass, so naturally, you hear sorry followed by a quick and painful aversion of the eyes until you can finally break free from one other. Four:  You step on someone's foot, and they say sorry!

Okay, now I understand etiquette, and showing respect but this is taking it too far.  Sorry relinquishes us from any further communication with strangers.  How about walking near someone, smiling, and saying hello as you step on their foot.  Wouldn't that be a refreshing change?  Or, let's bring the flirting back to this fair city - as in, you are at a crowded party, crash into someone (hot preferably), and offer a breathy hello, rather than sorry followed by a quick ear lick.  Fantastic. 

It's getting to the point that when people give me a sorry I say, "why? No need to be sorry.  Please don't be sorry for your existence.  No need to apologize."  People look at me in terror only to utter another sorry for their first sorry. The word has lost all meaning and context.  It's applied anywhere and everywhere merely to keep us apart.  You see, a hello draws people together, a sorry deposits a giant chunk of ice in between two warm bodied people sending them scurrying in opposite directions.  Plus, it dilutes the instances when you truly are sorry.

Like the time, this week, when I ran over someone's foot with my car whilst attempting a particularly harried parallel parking maneuver.  Or, when the dog, my son, jumped on a lady dressed elegantly in white only to leave muddy skid marks in his wake.  What about when I let someone know that they were being a real asshole - it goes something like this, "sorry, but you're a real asshole."  Now, did I mean sorry in any of those circumstances?  All except the asshole incident, yes. 

So, now, how do we change our habits?  I'm out there - living it, letting people know that they have nothing to be sorry about.  That hello works just as well.  That they deserve to be here as much as I and that they need not apologize for being around me, a complete stranger (who is getting increasingly strange). When we think about it, we have nothing to be sorry for.  We're all trying to cohabitate - to get along.  Inauthentic apologies will not help us but hellos will.  We must stop pulling inside ourselves and escaping one another with a sorry and instead smile and say hello.

Anyways, sorry if I offended.
Just kidding.